I’ve had some really great mental health days despite being really unwell but I can feel my mind trying to backslide! I’ve been practicing ERP in loads of normal everyday situations that became ridiculous triggers for me and now I’m sometimes not triggering my ocd is trying to get me to ruminate on why I’m not triggering!!🤯 Each time I’ve managed to stay in the uncertainty but whilst I’m feeling vulnerable and poorly how do I keep on track?

These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.

Sometimes I notice my intrusive thoughts cause me to spiral and sometimes not. I've been practicing ERP for quite a while so it's a bit easier for me to not spiral. But I wonder why that happens. Does anyone else have it? Also I'm on medication idk if that plays a role.

Any tips on how to deal with the rollercoaster of good and bad days with OCD? I had such a good day yesterday with tackling my compulsions and rumination. I tend to get up in the mornings and my OCD loves to start immediately. It becomes frustrating when you feel like you made progress, only to go right back to where you were. Any positive encouragement of how you’ve dealt with this would be appreciated!