Hey, I haven’t been on here in a longgg time and this isn’t necessarily OCD related but I want to tell someone how I’m feeling in the hopes that maybe someone else sort of relates and then maybe we can talk? I don’t know, I’m just a little scared at the moment and could do with some comfort I guess. Ok so the best way to describe how I’m feeling is empty. I’m not sure that I actually feel emotions much anymore. I’m not happy or sad and it’s scaring me, but obviously at the same time it isn’t because the only proper emotions I’m experiencing right now are hopelessness and emptiness. I just want to be able to feel again and I really don’t want this to be a big problem. Does anyone know if it’s even possible for me to get my emotions back? Can I back to normal, although I’m not too sure how normal feels anymore, or how feeling feels anymore. Also, I’m not even sure if that is what’s going on with me. I can barely feel things but at the same time my brains like nah it’s probably nothing, you’ve just not got any reason to feel anything right now. I feel exhausted and without motivation everyday. Thank you to anyone who’s read this, I hope nobody relates but please tell me if you do. I just want to talk.

I feel so weird these days. Like I feel blank empty person with no emotions. I mean i still do get anxiety here and there but like no emotions or guilt. I see scary movies and feel no reaction, I imagine hurting other and don’t feel any guilt more like the idgaf typa feeling, before I would be in mental torture crying and depressed about being scared I was a serial killer. I would break down but no I feel urges still by no anxiety or anything. I feel mental and crazy. I would be so excited to wear makeup and excited about impressing guys and dating, but now they don’t seem real to me. Before I would care about OCD and now I’m more like idgaf anymore or what I do. What is going on ?! Am I the only one experiencing this.?

It’s so weird how OCD just comes about with no explanation, out of nowhere. My issue has been feelings. I have moments of hyper focusing on feelings, trying to figure them out, and it’s exhausting. Logically, I know that what I’m going through with the things happening in my life (relationship ending that was abusive, my father just getting diagnosed with dementia, etc) would make anyone feel the way I do. But I keep trying to fight my feelings. “Normally, old me” would embrace them and let them be. Ever since my OCD returned, I can’t help but fixate on them and stress even more. It’s almost like my emotions and the way we are as humans in my mind has become even more of a problem than the problems themselves. Can anyone relate? I am doing my best with ERP. I definitely helps. But I’m still waking up not feeling like myself and it hurts.

I have this issue that I need help with and I would like to hear if anyone else has gone through something like this along with any tips. A few months back I had what was arguably my worst OCD episode in my whole life, it lasted a whole week, in this week I felt nothing but constant anxiety and obsession over this thought, it was like nothing in life mattered except this thought and that lead me to really become disconnected from what’s around me and become so occupied in my own head. After this week, I felt extremely numb and disconnected from myself and my identity which lead me to go down a spiral of disconnection and I had a lot of nostalgic sadness due to thinking “I miss the old days when things were so simple and I didn’t have severe ocd” and this caused me to become very sick of ocd thoughts to the point of suppressing them. Now it’s been quite some time and I have become much calmer but I still feel 2 main things from this extremely bad OCD episode that have stuck with me. 1) I feel extremely disconnected from my identity, my thoughts and emotions, I cannot name my emotions nor embrace them anymore and I can’t think straight (brain fog). 2) that sense of continuous background anxiety that I experienced in that week in my bad OCD episode has stuck with me and now I feel that anxiety all the time for no particular reason along with feeling dull, sad and disconnected. I feel like I have unresolved emotions and experiences from all this but at the same time I feel like I can’t point out anything specific that is causing me to feel this way. I have searched up symptoms for generalised anxiety disorder because of my continuous anxiety but I do not seem to match any of the symptoms, in fact I currently never feel anxious about anything except things related to my bad OCD episode. Please do not hesitate to leave any helpful comments if you have any :) and thank you in advance.