So I need advice I constantly have ruminations of cheating on my partner. We barely have been having problems anymore yet a friend of mine (who I was never into) we recently crossed paths over his mom dying of stage four lung cancer, and I knew his mom liked me very very much, way more than my current boyfriends mom could ever. His mother always had problems with me for reasons unknown. I recently dreamt of sleeping with my friend after crying about his mom possibly dying after finding out. I’m wondering if this is me trying to escape pain of my boyfriends mom and sister not loving me that much. I was always looking for love from an older adult since my moms a druggie and my dads a recovering abusive alcoholic. I’m not looking for reassurance. I’m not even sure this is OCD. I’m kinda of just looking for help. My boyfriends a wonderful guy But he comes from a shitty family like mine, very mean spirited

cheating wouldnt be a good answer, do you think this could be your ocd or rocd

@kenny0 I’m not sure. I know I do lack self confidence and I’m depressed. I feel I’m looking for a father or mother figure I never gotten. I do care for my boyfriend I mean I thought about marriage and his birthday gifts but this morning took a crazy toll realizing my friends mom who genuinely cared about me is dying of cancer, when my boyfriends mom could probably care less if I existed

@kenny0 I’m not sure what it is but I’m constantly thinking about it and I feel depressed and even cried to my female friend about what this phenomenon could signify. I think I tried to find love I couldn’t get from home. I don’t find my male friend attractive but his family is what I wanted from my boyfriends

@kenny0 I suffer from ocd yes but tbh I think I suffer from something else too since I came from a drug and alcoholic and abusive household

@Ang1998 ohh i understand now, you can talk about building a better relationship with his mom. because what youre looking for is a parent figure, not another boyfriend. i think it would be fine to have your friends mom as a mother figure, just not flirting with the friend. and while you have her, you can try to help building up a relationship with your bfs mom

@Ang1998 at the beginning i meant your boyfriends mom

@kenny0 Yeah I am also taking care of my dementia gramma and no ones helped me or my grandpa. Not even mom

@kenny0 I was also really devastated when a woman from work that I looked up to talked shit about me to our coworkers and the whole time I viewed her as a mom…. Same with this other guy I lived under whose friend groped me

@Ang1998 yeah i understand why you would feel that way. youre supported and do you have a therapist?

@kenny0 I have another appointment Tuesday

@Ang1998 you can see them as a parent figure, as they are trying to help you

@kenny0 I wanna block this friend and my friend thinks I should too to prevent something bad friend happening yet I can’t bring myself to do it and it’s causing anxiety as if I “like him” yet I never did in that way, just as a friend