keep thinking i have dissociative identity disorder after i work with these friends and people i like i feel like im being more of a charecature of myself than actually myself and it scares me like okay im being more one dimensional and more "on" or funny does that mean im fake does that mean that part of me is not real and then i spiral into ruminating about it im really scared i get scared sometimes that im not being me and that im a liar or a fake is thats ocd too?

It feels like I used to get so many intrusive thoughts in the beginning but now it’s less it’s only thoughts like what if I’m a p what if I’m a p what if I’m lying to myself what if I’m in dentist truly in all this and it was all fake like I’m an imposter, now it’s just feelings and noticing :/ and I hate he feelings that come with it I’m really scared I am one I feel so alone :( I’m taking therapy but my therapist is not specialized in ocd and I don’t think she understands and I don’t want to bring it up bc I brought up a fear that what if I turn into my stepdad and she said “are you attracted to children?” And I said no but it was just an irrational thought that came after I started realizing the trauma that happened to me as a kid, and idk I’m scared to Start with a therapists here bc what if all this just makes it worse and it turns out I am what I fear all along.? :(

so i start therapy tomorrow. but bro it’s just getting worse and im so scared. like the thoughts are getting more frequent and i genuinely feel evil and i hate it. i keep thinking what if i do it and im scared im eventually gonna. i’m scared i give off a creepy vibe or im lying to myself or others. please tell me is this ocd? do i need to be actually worried? i’m really freaking out

i’m terrified to get a diagnosis. What if it’s not actually OCD??? I made a list of reasons why i think so and then i think what if im lying and i actually don’t do this stuff and am just dramatic and i just want to have OCD so then my thoughts are justified?? I have struggled in the past year with Pocd & Rocd and then also some bits of thinking im constantly in danger or being watched? I’m scared.