Wondering this too
well idk but i noticed before i was ocd i was oblivious to all the things i did when i was younger and was more happier. I also daydreamed a lot but i can’t do that now.
also i used to be very creative i made music and drew a lot but now i rarely do it
this is from internet - Unfortunately, obsessive-compulsive disorder diminishes the amount of grey matter in the brain, making people with OCD less able to control their impulses. Low levels of grey matter can also change the way you process information, making you more likely to obsess over “bad thoughts” whether you intend to or not.
that helps so much, it proves that our ocd isnt us (or soemtimes people think that its them) since there is something actually happening in the brain