I dont think i can get on this plane to go back home , its too many people at the airport and im shaking 🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️ and alone …. Any advice

Currently having a mental breakdown as I have to get on a plane by myself for the first time. It just feels like since I’ll be alone everything will go wrong and I don’t want that. All of the flights I’ve been on have been mostly smooth. It’s a short flight but I just can’t get the imagine of me dying alone out of my head. I’ll go a couple hours being fine about it to freaking out. Also, a side from safety I just hate being up in the air with no where to go. I genuinely can’t comprehend it and now I have to do it by myself.

I’m very overwhelmed anxiety been through the roof

I am going to a country I have never been before and am feeling on edge because I will have to face the Airport, a place that causes a lot of germ related anxiety for me and I will inevitably have to use a public bathroom at some point before I reach my hotel room. This is my biggest fear place-made infinitely worse because I am transgender and there has been a massive increase in transphobia and hate crimes related to trans people using public bathrooms.-I know there isn’t much that will help me with that fear but any general advice on traveling especially in unfamiliar areas would be greatly appreciated!