I just got so triggered and I reeeeeally want to do a compulsion right now. Advice appreciated!

I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩

This is a repost, only because the last post had no responses lol. Please if you have any advice share. I’ve been trying hard to sit with the feeling of anxiety. Actually that’s the problem, recently I’ve been trying to sit with the thought (and I’m able to for a few hours or until the next morning) and then my anxiety comes back so strong and it’s like I need to clean everything off. I see images of gross laundry getting on everything or my hand and then I need to clean everything off to un contaminate it. Sometimes the thought happens later at night so I just sleep through and the next morning I will wake up with intense anxiety about contamination. That happened yesterday and I had to clean everything off and since then I’ve been traumatized so I’ve been doing compulsions like avoiding the bathroom and being around people so I know I couldn’t have done anything wrong. Actually recently my biggest compulsion has been recording every time I get up to go eat, etc so that I know I couldn’t have done anything. Any advice or help???

I already wrote about this and you really helped me, but now I wondered?! During the erp, I look at a picture of that person with some grimaces that the brain sexualizes, otherwise I have incest ocd! The person is of my gender, I'm not gay otherwise. And then, based on those facial expressions, the brain creates sexual images in my head, which I often feel as sexual and mental arousel. It is enough to see the picture or hear the voice of that person! Based on the pictures it gives me the idea of ​​sexually touching myself on it and climaxing while watching. I feel an urge (I tried something like that a few times ago and now I'm afraid of it), and then the exercise is over, but I stay until I get the answer I want and the feelings that would calm me down, but that happens less and less... Have you had any experience, and is it a compulsion? how can I stay after exercise with that feeling of reality.. Thank you in advance❤️