Y’all my parents have figured out that something is wrong with me😭😭😭😭

I had like a really bad argument with my mom basically about her complaining about my “attitude” and “constant arrogance” like okay firstly 😭 yes i do have an attitude and am irritable but im not THAT bad 😭🙏 she was saying that im a “pest” and that “its not enjoyable to live with someone who makes other people miserable” like 😅🧍‍♀️ oh ☺️ and then i tell her that i know im struggling and that im going to therapy to try to get better and trying to possibly get a diagnosis and she says “your generation just wants something to deal with. You want something to be wrong with you. ‘Trying to get better’ isn’t good enough… would you be able to stand someone like yourself? You’re just choosing this antisocial, narcissistic behaviour and harass everyone… You need to pull yourself together. No matter how much effort we put into you, you will never be happy. You want some medicine? Some diagnosis? Because that will solve everything?” 😭😭😭 and the way she said “some medication”- she sounded so disgusted and appalled and now i feel ashamed… i mean im not officially diagnosed with ocd and it is never my intention to self diagnose- but im sorry its VERY obvious when you have ocd and know of ocd- its so distinct. Everything- the compulsions, reassurance, intrusive thoughts, themes, patterns, perfectionism- but she has me overthinking- what if i dont have ocd 😭 and ive just been lying to myself and everyone maybe its not ocd and im just sick in the head or trying to self sabotage- and especially when my supposed ocd is calm or not as loud i get so anxious “what if i dont have ocd…”

She laughed and said that everyone has these thoughts "i didn't tell her about the REALLY fucked up thoughts i experience cuz i was kinda scared" and then she said it's the demon just say ur prayers and they'll go away Even though i kept on trying and trying to convince her that they're clearly not normal but she kept on refusing and it kinda sounded like she didn't want to admit and believe that her daughter has a mental illness which sucks

So I was at a family thing yesterday and my ice was bothering me and I kept washing my hands and my family noticed and started making fun of me for it and it was like non stop it made me feel really alone especially since they clearly know something’s up but they just make it worse instead of at least trying to help😕