Man, struggling right now. Started ERP about 10 days ago and noticed positive changes right away. Then suddenly I got scared thinking "Okay this has been a great exercise but what if my fears are actually really true??" I guess that's called a backdoor spike? Not really sure.
I'm also noticing that doing treatment is really dismantling the one coping mechanism I have had most of my life - compulsions. Even though they are destructive, they were my coping mechanism. And now without them I'm kind of flailing. And it's just a major change in my entire life strategy - I sort of feel like I need to re-learn how to just live in the world. And so I just feel kind of frightened and confused in my day-to-day life.
It's a lot like when I got into 12 step and quit drinking. I stopped destroying myself with alcohol but it really required me to look at life from a completely different perspective. Stopping drinking was kind of the easy part. But relearning how to live was really the deep work that created lasting change.
Anyone relate to any of this?