Does anyone have a thought about a real event thing and sometimes be able to justify the situation and be like "whatever" and then sometimes it totally freaks you out and you feel like your life is over?? In my case it was such a small incident but my brain says "nope life is over for you" one minute and "eh it's no big deal" the next 🙁 i really want to ask a family member but I know I would be trying to relieve anxiety but I reallllllly want to relieve the anxiety. It doesn't help that I have things for college to go today and an interview tonight for an internship yet all I can think about is this small little real event

so I put this into Gemini a couple mins ago but it just gave me the 988 to text but I feel like I don’t know if these thoughts are genuine or intrusive and just amplified because of how I was feeling. This is what I put in there I’ll just copy and paste. I got talking with my grandma and I felt like I needed to get it out but I just kept thinking deeper and deeper like thoughts like “I can’t do this anymore” or “when will this stop” and I have a lot of suicidal intrusive thoughts and sometimes when I feel in such fear and deep sorrow and dispare these thoughts feel so real that I can’t tell if they’re intrusive. But I immediately push them away of course even though I keep wanting to figure it out or figure out how I can break free from this doubt and second guessing. But it freaked me out that maybe I was actually contemplating or genuinely thinking about it or was close to snapping and giving up. Now I feel like I have to figure out of it was intrusive or not because that’s really serious if it is a real thought. I know it’s apart of ocd to figure it out but I can’t tell if it was my imagination made it seem way more real or when I imagined myself doing something to myself it felt like the probability became higher because I was in a state of severe distress. It’s like a thought when your heart is beating so fast you don’t wish it would stop beating you just want a break from it beating so loud or fast or you want it to get better. Idk I pictured myself just being stuck in my body and it freaked me out too like the fact I cant control what my body is doing. I’ve lost some weight the last couple months bc of stress and it just grosses me out thinking how bad I might be getting. I even started thinking maybe I need to be in a mental hospital. And just admit it and just get more help. The thing is I also felt like I had a decent day today but it took so much out of me trying to resist compulsions and “keeping” the good moment going without extreme fear especially of dying. I get so freaked out by random things even things touching me, certain sounds and wish it could all stop sometimes and I keep running away from things I think are triggers for my anxiety but it feels like it’s getting narrower.

Soo i need to say this but i struggle with real event ocd but its not things i did but things i thought or things i felt for certain situations or to certain things i like im having trouble telling apart my feelings like i try to sort them like oh this is that feeling but i got the same feeling for two different situations one is good one is bad and i got the same feeling so im just scared why did i have that reaction i guess i just im sitting here analyzing what that feeling is and i genuinely dont know its not anything physical its more in my head and now im checking every moment in the past to see the thought process and what i felt in that moment and im just scared of what i feel

I made a really stupid mistake over two years ago. I brushed it off and have just assumed everything was fine since. I even forgot about it. Recently, I saw a reel on my phone that triggered anxiety and ruminating about said mistake. Everyday when I wake up and fall asleep, it’s all I think about. I begun opening up to loved ones about the story and they all reassured me that everything’s fine, and that it’s really “not a big deal”. I’m still very much on edge, paranoid, and aware that it could come back to bite me in the ass. It’s consumed my mind so much to the point where I don’t enjoy the things I used to, it’s difficult keeping up with daily tasks, it has stripped me of my motivation and my relationships with other people due to isolation. I’m physically sick from worrying about the future, coming up with every worst possible case scenario and mentally living in that persona instead of what’s happening right now in front of me in the present.