- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes this is the story of my life, everyday. Do the things you need to do today. You can obsess about this later. Do not ask your family about it. It’s going to make it worse. You need to decide that your life is not over. You need to decide that this does not matter to you and that you don’t want to be defined by it. It’s a choice.
Okay do you have any ERP recommendations or tips?
@Anyonomous .You need to explore “why does it matter” and “what does it mean about me.” You need to decide for yourself that it doesn’t matter, and that if it does matter you don’t care. And decide that it doesn’t mean anything about you or thay if it does mean something about you, you don’t care. Because you don’t want to live this way. Because you don’t want your life to end every single time a tiny little thing happens. Because you want to live with understanding and forgiveness and flexibility. No matter what, do not act on the thought.
@Anonymous Okay. Makes sense. What do you mean by figure out the "why does it matter?"
@Anyonomous For example, let’s say you said something mean fo someone. You would ask yourself why does it matter? Like we all say mean things. And even if everyone doesn’t say mean things do you want to live your life feeling guilty for one thing you said? Do you want to live a life where you aren’t allowed to move on from things that you don’t like that you said or did? Do you want to have to live by arbitrary rules? Make sense?
Yeah this happens, for sure!! Some days I can just shrug it off and feel like it wasn't THAT bad, and two days later it's 🆘 again! I keep going back and forth. Suddenly new memories pop up and I'll have to take those into consideration as well. Real event ocd is so much work 😞
For sure 😞 other themes feel hard but at least I can usually say they are irrational but real event doesn't always seem that way! Do you have any tips or ERP recommendations?
@Anyonomous Well... you're asking on a bad day.. I just made a post about wanting to call a friend up to discuss an event from 7 years ago... 😩 But in theory I think ERP for this is to write down the worst possible outcomes to your obsession ("I'm going to lose all my friends and everyone will hate me." etc. and read it over and over until the fear starts going away and you start "accepting" the uncertainty of it. :)
@washie That makes sense!! So sorry you're struggling with this too though :( Mine is a real event from a few years ago and one from yesterday 😞 which is very fresh in my mind. I hope you can feel some peace today
@Anyonomous Thanks, you too! <3 Time will heal us, I'm sure. I've had a few ocd types, but this has been the worst one 💩.
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
does anyone else with this theme feel like their suic. ocd skyrockets when something in your life happens?? i’ve been doing so good managing these thoughts and not panicking, but i had a event happen in my life and all of them are back hitting hard. i’m arguing with myself on whether im actually depressed or not and “what if this means my thoughts are real”, it’s all what if thoughts, but because ive been doing so good with them, what if they are real this time? like im panicking again because im scared they are real? like i’m not depressed im just going through a few things right now. idk what it is. but i really need tips on how to help with setbacks and what to do to stop myself from arguing with my mind when i already know the truth.
i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.
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