I feel like I’m the one exception

Has anyone felt like they never would find their person. Like you really couldn’t see it happening for you and then you found that person ?? What was it like?? Because I’m losing hope here. I really feel like there is no one for me

I’m really struggling with real event ocd at the moment because I feel like no one else has done what I did so I’m the exception. I spoke about this already here but I’ve literally been crying every day I feel so hopeless at the moment I wish I could just go back to the years I spent doing this thing and stop myself because my life could have been so much different now. I hate myself so much because I cannot forgive myself. What I did isn’t morally bad it just does not align with my current identity so I really struggle with accepting myself because of my past mistakes. I wish so badly that I had a friend who went through the same thing because I feel so alone

Cause i feel like i am the only one with these thoughts