- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey friend, it sounds like trying to figure out what type of OCD you have is becoming an OCD thing itself. Iâve seen therapists posting about this and itâs a problem for a lot of people I think. They say that the main thing is to remember that regardless of the answer to your question you deserve help and itâs worth trying the treatment to see if it helps. â¤ď¸
17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.
just wanted to see if others struggle with real event ocd really kicking their a**. i feel like my mind is a constant battleground of every mistake ive made and they feel so huge and life altering to me that itâs hard to continue going on in their wake. just wondering if anyone else feels this way too.
Hey everyone â I just want to say upfront that as someone who actively deals with real events OCD, most of the posts I share here are going to come straight from my personal experience. Just real & lived reality. Because I know how lonely this type of OCD can feel, and if thereâs even one person out there who reads my words and feels less alone â then itâs worth sharing every piece of it. Now⌠letâs talk about the kind of OCD that doesnât get enough attention. The kind that doesnât just whisper scary things â it reminds you of real ones. Real Events OCD. This isnât about bizarre or outta nowhere intrusive thoughts. This is the kind that takes real things youâve done â whether it was a genuine mistake, a cringey moment, a bad decision, or even something you already made peace with â and it replays them on a loop like a horror film in your head. Itâs the constant questioning: âAm I actually a good person?â âWas that actually wrong and I just didnât realize it?â âWhat if Iâve hurt someone and donât deserve to be okay?â And itâs exhausting. Iâve had moments where I canât focus, canât sleep, canât breathe because my brain pulls up something from years ago and convinces me Iâm evil, dangerous, unforgivable. I can be having a good day, laughing with people I love, and boom â my mind hits me with âRemember this? You should feel horrible about it forever.â Even if Iâve apologized. Even if Iâve changed. Even if Iâve done the work. Real Events OCD doesnât care. It thrives off your guilt. It uses your conscience against you. And when youâre young â still figuring out who you are, still healing â it makes you question whether you even deserve to move forward. Thatâs whatâs so cruel about it. It doesnât just make you anxious. It makes you feel like youâre a danger to the people you love. That youâre secretly the villain in your own story. But let me tell you something Iâve been learning â slowly, painfully, but honestly.. You are not your past. You are not your worst mistake. And you are not the voice in your head trying to punish you forever. Youâre a person with a heart. A person who cares. And thatâs exactly why OCD picked this flavor to mess with you. ERP is SOO helping. So is community. But the biggest help? Giving myself permission to stop chasing reassurance and start living again. I do not have to confess, over and over, for the rest of my life. I do not have to torture myself to prove Iâm good. I can grow â and growing is enough. So if youâre reading this and you know exactly what Iâm talking about⌠I see you. I am you. Letâs keep showing up. Letâs keep living. Letâs keep healing â even when OCD tells us we donât deserve to. You do. I do. We all do.
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