- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Unconditional love absolutely exists, but it doesn’t have to be love at first sight. Appearance and other superficial senses draw us in to whom we are attracted, but as deeper love grows, often the attractiveness of the other grows too. We also tend to put ourselves out there with regard to how we are internally, so our inner selves are reflected in how we outwardly appear. But, and maybe I should have started with this, is this conversation helping you or locking you into obsession? Just know even the truest and deepest of love starts with attraction. I used to feel guilt over that in my own relationships, but it’s just how relationships are often built, even platonic friendships. 💜
- Date posted
- 3y
It may just be locking me into the obsession. I'm just struggling to get over the idea that if something like looks is a prerequisite for love or friendship then that doesn't seem unconditional to me...
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ben84 I think it’s a common beginning to love, but not necessarily a prerequisite. Remember, black and white thinking, in this case maybe about what love is or isn’t, can be a sign of OCD taking hold. Maybe it’s time to shift to something else so you’re not obsessing too much right now? 🤷🏼♀️ Here for you in whatever way you think is healthiest! 💜💪🏼
- Date posted
- 3y
A nice thing I like to ask myself when I get stuck on these kinds of questions: would you act any different if this were true vs false? Would you make different decisions? Would your daily life be different? Answering “no” to these questions really helps me step back from my fears sometimes, at least for a little bit.
- Date posted
- 3y
Oooh! This is good!
- Date posted
- 3y
@ARTnotOCD :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
- Date posted
- 21w
I have had multiple experiences where I was too clingy or literally cried when someone i have known for 3 days stops talking to me. I have fixated on the idea that I am never going to be in a happy relationship so anytime someone is nice to me I hold my breath hoping we will fall in love and get married, even if don't know eachother. I find myself over looking qualities that I usually would not like and constantly seeking their validation.
- Date posted
- 11w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
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