- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Unconditional love absolutely exists, but it doesn’t have to be love at first sight. Appearance and other superficial senses draw us in to whom we are attracted, but as deeper love grows, often the attractiveness of the other grows too. We also tend to put ourselves out there with regard to how we are internally, so our inner selves are reflected in how we outwardly appear. But, and maybe I should have started with this, is this conversation helping you or locking you into obsession? Just know even the truest and deepest of love starts with attraction. I used to feel guilt over that in my own relationships, but it’s just how relationships are often built, even platonic friendships. 💜
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It may just be locking me into the obsession. I'm just struggling to get over the idea that if something like looks is a prerequisite for love or friendship then that doesn't seem unconditional to me...
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Ben84 I think it’s a common beginning to love, but not necessarily a prerequisite. Remember, black and white thinking, in this case maybe about what love is or isn’t, can be a sign of OCD taking hold. Maybe it’s time to shift to something else so you’re not obsessing too much right now? 🤷🏼♀️ Here for you in whatever way you think is healthiest! 💜💪🏼
- Date posted
- 3y ago
A nice thing I like to ask myself when I get stuck on these kinds of questions: would you act any different if this were true vs false? Would you make different decisions? Would your daily life be different? Answering “no” to these questions really helps me step back from my fears sometimes, at least for a little bit.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oooh! This is good!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ARTnotOCD :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
- Date posted
- 6w ago
So I’m really struggling to believe that anyone will want to be in a relationship with me and still love me when they find out about my pocd and intrusive thoughts. I am holding a belief no one can love me with this condition and they will be repulsed by me when they find out. I just don’t know how to shake that feeling and be brave enough to try and share with anyone I’m dating.
- Date posted
- 11d ago
Please help…. I haven’t had an OCD spiral on this topic in well…a long time. For background, I’m in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I believe we will get married. When we first started dating, he had told me he had a roommate and me, having ocd, googled him to “make sure I wasn’t attracted to his roommate”. However, to my lovely anxious surprise, I didn’t know if I found his roommate attractive or not. In fact, I think I did find him attractive! This turned into a full spiral and what if thoughts, and it was horrible. Eventually I kinda learned to deal with it, but I always felt kind of awkward around his roommate. Fast forward 3 years later, he’s still one of his very best friends so we see him often. And sometimes, this thought still spikes. In full honesty, I actually DONT KNOW if I think his friend is attractive. I obsessed about it so much before I ever officially met him that once I met his friend, I didn’t know what I thought. Anyways, this randomly spiked again, and the thought is “if you’re still anxious you’re attracted to his friend 3 years later, that must mean something…” and boom, spiral. I have thoughts of “check if you’re attracted to him” when we’re around him and I’m so embarrassed honestly. Because at the end of the day, so what if he’s attractive? It’s not like I want to do anything about it, but of course, even saying that, ocd goes “are you sure? You should think of scenarios to check and make sure”. If anyone has been through this, can you please offer advice on how to disregard? I have a hard time accepting finding other people attractive while in a relationship is a normal thing
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