I'm starting to obsess over whether unconditional love really exists. If I'm being honest, superficial things like appearance affect how I feel about people. Yes, there may be other reasons why I like someone, but am nonetheless more inclined to like someone with positive superficial qualities.

Unconditional love absolutely exists, but it doesn’t have to be love at first sight. Appearance and other superficial senses draw us in to whom we are attracted, but as deeper love grows, often the attractiveness of the other grows too. We also tend to put ourselves out there with regard to how we are internally, so our inner selves are reflected in how we outwardly appear. But, and maybe I should have started with this, is this conversation helping you or locking you into obsession? Just know even the truest and deepest of love starts with attraction. I used to feel guilt over that in my own relationships, but it’s just how relationships are often built, even platonic friendships. 💜

It may just be locking me into the obsession. I'm just struggling to get over the idea that if something like looks is a prerequisite for love or friendship then that doesn't seem unconditional to me...

@Ben84 I think it’s a common beginning to love, but not necessarily a prerequisite. Remember, black and white thinking, in this case maybe about what love is or isn’t, can be a sign of OCD taking hold. Maybe it’s time to shift to something else so you’re not obsessing too much right now? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Here for you in whatever way you think is healthiest! 💜💪🏼

A nice thing I like to ask myself when I get stuck on these kinds of questions: would you act any different if this were true vs false? Would you make different decisions? Would your daily life be different? Answering “no” to these questions really helps me step back from my fears sometimes, at least for a little bit.

Oooh! This is good!