This is not an ocd thing. I kept promising things to god because I feel bold. Then I get scared. Any advice?

I always want to get close to God and my ocd is always related to me thinking I'm going crazy however my ocd also sticks to religion it kinda pulls me away because I'm scared that I'll go crazy if I focus too much on one thing or do too much of one thing..so I went to the dentist and I was waiting on my boyfriend when this man that was speaking about God came and he was speaking to me and he kept saying I should give my life to God and I told him I want to do it on my timing and he kept saying no and after a while he showed me something in the daily bread and he turned to another women that was a the desk of the dentist and say something along the lines of me being a dead little girl if I dnt follow the word of God or something similar 😔now this makes me scared and it puts a lot of pressure on me because now idk what to do anymore, and I'm lowkey trying to change and get closer to God in some way

I don't really know if it's OCD, but lately I've been thinking a lot and in a very obsessive way that every single one of my actions, words or even thoughts will affect on how God will make decisions about my life. For example, if I lie to someone or yell at them out of anger, God will make happen something bad to me as a "punishment". I know it might seem silly, but it really really freaks me out sometimes... Does anyone feel the same? And if so, do you do something in particular to feel better? Thanks for your understanding❤️

Hey all. I need help. I am sitting on my bathroom floor freaking out and convinced that all my work towards getting better has gone out the window. I am so scared of the “bad guy” getting me all the time. I constantly feel like I have to prove to God that I don’t mean these awful feelings and thoughts that I have about the bad guy. I’ve had trouble sleeping tonight, going in and out of consciousness, all while dealing with bad thoughts going in and out of my head. Finally I woke up and am flooded with “you have so many thoughts and feeling that you let slide while you were trying to sleep. You had thoughts that you accepted the bad guy and you didn’t dispute them before you tried to move on. You have so much to answer for.” So now I’m sitting here in my bathroom floor hysterically crying and begging God to believe me when I say I don’t any of these thoughts or feelings… please someone help