- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
GIRL SAME WITH HOCD!!!!
I hate this I don't even know my gender anymore like, literally who am I? I feel like I've completely lost the old me and been replaced, that girl is gone. Did she ever exist?
@Kaylaaaa I feel the same with both hocd and tocd
@Nour04 So sorry you have to experience it too. I should be scared of it but I'm not
Ahhh same! I'm sorry you're going through this man
You too! I should be terrified but I'm just so calm
@Kaylaaaa It's because sometimes your anxiety / disgusted response wears off after so much exposure to one topic
@guesswhosback Interesting
I mean I guess calm is good. I just feel like i shouldn't be. Like I must want to be trans and I don't even care about it, I should be panicking about the fact I'm not panicking
@Kaylaaaa Calm is a good response! Getting anxious about not being anxious is called a back door spike and is common with ocd so please try and tolerate the uncertainty
Maybe it does mean you’re trans, maybe it doesn’t! So glad that you’re feeling less anxiety. Try to focus on other things for a while while you’re still recovering from this particular OCD theme; you’ll have plenty of time to think about gender identity in a healthy, non-compulsive way later!
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
So at one point I was glad I was having anxiety/stress about these thoughts but now I feel like something has changed is it normal to not want anxiety and stress even tho it helps me realize these thoughts are not mine. Like the anxiety and stress is doing me no good and it's really messing me up. Is it normal to not want stress and anxiety after awhile or is something wrong with me
I just recently kind of was getting over my Constant spiral of “am I a lesbian or bi?”(im a lesbian) and now I’ve been tackled by “am I trans” even tho I’ve never questioned my gender ever, I love being a woman, and I never thought I’d ever be dealing with this since I’ve always been so sure of being a woman, anybody else?
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