My boyfriend spent the night recently. I had to leave in the morning before him. When I got home I found that he had (very sweetly!) made my bed and even folded my special blanket at the end of my bed. But he hadn’t made my bed the way I always do and I felt compelled to redo it my normal way, effectively undoing his act of kindness. It was really frustrating and my non-OCD friends couldn’t understand. I’m glad to find someplace to share and find some validation and understanding.

Wow, I’m so happy you can find a safe place to share your story. I can tell you that I COMPLETELY understand. #OCDSucks

I think tbh it’s all about developing coping skills to help manage the condition and prevent it from getting worse... a lot of my coping skills are acceptance based. Dealing with a sudden honest was horrendous at the time. I basically lost everything in a span of days. I remember specifically I would count the months go by thinking “it’s been 1 month since I’ve lived like this, now 2, now 3, etc.”

It really does depend on the day. Most of the time it’s more like a mosquito buzzing around - annoying but ignorable. Some days it’s more like a five year old playing a brand new drum set.

It really does! And no one understands the countless little ways that OCD enters everyday life. That it’s a constant presence not a singular moment.

It’s a feeling that you can physically feel too. Like the gripping in you chest and in your face.. do you know what I’m saying?

Yeah! Or like having a conversation with another version of yourself.

Ya.. when were you diagnosed with OCD?

About 6-7 years ago. But I’ve had it since I was born. I’ve been able to report symptoms as long as I can remember. It’s just that no one caught it.

Man, I’m sorry to hear that. Mine has been like 4 years.. it onset severely in the middle of college

Honestly, it’s alright. I’ve had a lot more time than most to develop coping skills and adjust. I can’t imagine dealing with a sudden onset.

And then it just felt like it became a blur, waking up with ocd was the norm. That’s when I started accepting it and getting better, imo.

it was no big deal to just wake up and start obsessing, and since it was no big deal, i found myself obsessing less.

I find because I’ve dealt with it my whole life and learned as a child to normalize my obsessing, I have a harder time identifying when I’m engaging in obsessive or compulsive behaviors versus what is the standard. I have to be extra careful because otherwise I don’t notice and it gets out of hand.

Noticing in my opinion is a sign that you are getting better. You’re mindfully understanding what’s happening inside your head. That’s powerful. Have you tried applying treatment as soon as you’ve noticed doing a compulsion?

I’m not actively in any kind of treatment right now. Some of my compulsions aren’t harmful or overly disruptive so I just let them happen. Others I try and actively resist. Really depends on the day and the situation.

How much does your ocd bother you each day?