sometimes it feels like i will be never become a person what i wanna be in past....my time is ruined

will i ever be free or is this all there is for the rest of my life

With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.

I feel like OCD has taken up a massive chunk of my life. I don't really have anything else, most of my time has been spent with obsessions for years. I'm 21 so I know I'm young and everything but that is time I won't get back, and it's had aeasurable impact on my future, with stuffike grades, or just missing out on social stuff due to obsessions. I wasn't even aware of what was wrong with me for so long.