I feel like I’m going to be stuck on this one thought forever

Two things are happening: I get thoughts that just keep looping. They almost feel like song stuck in my head. Also, I’ll imagine something and I feel my stomach drop. Then as the seconds go by I keep getting fragments of the this thought but with different details. For example, it’s kinda like how a “vision” is portrayed. I’ll get a glimpse of the thought and then it’ll rapidly expand into something worse every few seconds. I don’t know if I’m causing this or if it’s just an automatic thing like any other intrusive thought. It feels unavoidable, idk if this is a compulsion or if it’s just another manifestation of an intrusive thought. Apart from that remembering an intrusive thought triggers the full thought again and then it just keeps looping or expanding. I don’t know how to stop any of this. Help?

I don’t know how to deal with the thoughts that come and barely gone. Usually, the brain often remembers and forgets things. People with OCD however struggle with trying to forget the intrusive thoughts because of the imbalance trying to convey what is real and if the thoughts in your head will come true. Just for the past few days, I was having fun and suddenly hit with a wave of obsessive thoughts and making me stuck with nowhere to go.

So I had a panic attack a while ago to “kill mom” and I forgot about the thought until a few days later. When it came back I was mentally drained and it lasted for 2 months or more. It eventually went away but it is back. I get other intrusive thoughts but they go away after a hour or so. Why am I stressing over “kill mom” so much. I just get irritated that it won’t go away. I’m beginning to think it’s a different mental illness maybe just anxiety? I’m not sure to be honest. It just appears and sits there and I feel like I’m doomed and a pyscho and worry that I’ll never forget the thought.