Im having a great day and then I have the intrusive thought that I'm atracted to a person and sexual thougts and arousal feelings in my body and I don't want that and makes me feel bad, a horrible person and that didn't stop and doubging about myself

Today has been really hard I feel like I can’t even breathe I feel like a pedo for real :( whenever i think during my alone time i try and coexist with it? but when i decided to think and think i panic and panic more and more i start feel more guilty guys I can’t take this anymore bc when I kinda feel certain it fades aways i think logically i know i probably am ok :( but it’s so scary for me what if i did actually act on the thought and I didn’t realize? And now reflecting it ???

today's exposure exercise. I look at the face of a person I have sexual thoughts about and I feel that as soon as I can connect that face with sex I am attracted to it, and I feel like I can touch my self on sexual way while looking at that face, and I can imagine it and get it as an urge..it seems like I am stopping myself because it is horrible, not that I don't want to... I get stuck a lot with this and I don't know how to get out...I can't...

I keep wondering if I’m attracted to this kid I saw a week ago or not, it keeps happening, I can’t figure it out, what I hope is false attraction is feeling too real, I don’t wan to like the kid, I never wish to like kids, I genuinely feel like I’m just in doubt, I can’t figure it out, it feels weird, I don’t feel any guilt, shame, disgust, or panic, idk why but ik that I’m supposed to feel that, it makes me feel like I’m a real p. I barley get any negative emotion from those thoughts anymore, even when these thoughts started I didn’t feel shame or guilt, but I think I did feel worry and panic, I’m not sure anymore, I don’t remember.