Today was just one of those hard days. When I go to bed tonight, I’m going to look at the ceiling and try to think of all the little things in my life I’m grateful for. Like a warm bed, clean water, my health and hey I’m still breathing 🤷🏼‍♀️

Lately, my mood shifts so frequently. A couple of minutes ago, I got triggered and decided that instead of doing a compulsion, I'd write in my journal (since I haven't done that in a while). But after writing not even half a page... I'm okay? Well, sorta! 😭 I'm experiencing a resurgence in old obsessions, which is disappointing. A couple of weeks back, I was doing a lot better, but now it's just one thing after another. Really wish therapy was more affordable. I'm already seeing my psychiatrist, but she wants me to see a specialist as well. When I think about living with this for the rest of my life, I can get a little emotional. I know it'll get easier to manage as time passes, and it might not even affect me in the future, but right now...? It's a lot of work I'll need to do to overcome this. I'm willing to do it, but I get discouraged at times... But that's enough of my little vent! I hope anyone who reads this is doing okay. Hang in there 🤍

I’m sure it’s been a rough few days for everyone, maybe even weeks or months. Hell, this last YEAR has been up and down for me! But I wanted to take this moment to congratulate everyone for coming this far. It’s no small feat! OCD is a killer, and it’s good at its job! The fact that all of you are still here fighting is a testament to how strong you are! We may not have the answers or explanation to everything, and that’s okay. We have to stay in the present, not the past or the future. Remember to practice being uncertain! It’s hard to remember the good days we’ve had despite all these horrible ones! There’s no scar to show for happiness, but we’ve got plenty to show for misery and pain. Keep hanging on, you’ve got this!

Today I had a big learning moment. My ocd had been getting better these past few weeks and things have been looking up but today i was struggling. I stayed in bed all day super bored and my ocd flared up really bad. Looking back at my day now i feel bad how I handled certain situations.. im just going to look at it as a learning moment and handle bad days differently. Everyday can't be great, I have lots of things im looking forwards to and i know tomorrow will be better. Recovery isn't a straight line