does anyone do compulsions to avoid intrusive thoughts like all the time and it gets tiring having to do it like so many times just to avoid you thinking anything willingly so the one day you dont really react to them or do compulsions or let the thought go, you feel like you said all that. i feel like these thoughts are just me it hurts i hate it 

I've noticed with me whenever I avoid doing compulsions there's always thoughts like that that reel me back into doing compulsions again because it's always "what if". It's just ocd messing with your head, remember thoughts are just that. Thoughts. It's not a part of who you are.