It's been like 2-3 days I have been thinking if I am gay or not at least once an hour and I think I am in denial and also I am not getting those groinal responses. I don't know what is happening. Is this a phase of HOCD or am I in denial. And whenever I feel I am gay I try to imagine me having sex with a guy and I don't like it, and think again that I am not gay, is this compulsion because I am doing this a lot cause I get those thoughts a lot I am scared and I want to go back to being normal. This HOCD has made me really confused about my sexuality and even manipulated me I am gay and I am living in denial but I don't how I enjoy woman pornography and not gay pornography.

I had this for a few years when I was in my teenage years. It really made it hard for me to enjoy just being myself, because I kept wanting to “feel” like myself. And the more I tried to feel that way, the more the ocd had power over me. I also did compulsions where I purposely looked at things to test myself, and it never really fully reassured me. Finally I just said “okay; I might be; I might not. I don’t care” and it just stopped effecting me. You just gotta stop trying to feel comfortable. It’s gonna make you uncomfortable. Let the thoughts come in, and just accept them. Accept the thought that you might be gay. It’s going to be really scary and uncomfortable at first, but eventually it will not harm you, and you can start to feel normal again