Hope you all are doing well my day was completely all over the place but I hope that tomorrow is better.

Just trying to stay off here as much as I can! Hope you are all doing well.

I am (or was)! Yesterday, I started to get really anxious for unknown reasons, and then (just my luck) I got triggered by something online 😭 It's always so... humbling. I'm trying to sit with the intrusive thoughts at this moment, but I'm just feeling really icky and a bit down. With OCD, it's bound to happen at some point, I guess. Even without OCD, you're going to have good and bad days. It's just how life is 🥲 I'm just afraid of being slingshot back to how I felt a few months ago, which I know realistically WON'T happen, but my brain doesn't want me to think logically lol. I'm also afraid that the repetitive nature of OCD intrusive thoughts will somehow alter who I am as a person, making my fears a reality? It's weird. Classic OCD, but it still makes me anxious! I have been doing better not engaging with these thoughts, but occasionally, I'll accidentally argue back. It doesn't help because then my brain says, "You're just in denial, and you're actually a bad person!" And whenever I say anything in opposition of something against my morals, it feels performative or fake for some reason 🫠 I'm just venting at this point, I'm sorry! Anyway, if anyone reads this, I hope you're doing okay, and if not, I hope things look up soon. Take care of yourselves, stay hydrated, and rest well!

Today I had a big learning moment. My ocd had been getting better these past few weeks and things have been looking up but today i was struggling. I stayed in bed all day super bored and my ocd flared up really bad. Looking back at my day now i feel bad how I handled certain situations.. im just going to look at it as a learning moment and handle bad days differently. Everyday can't be great, I have lots of things im looking forwards to and i know tomorrow will be better. Recovery isn't a straight line