I get these same thoughts ): they suck
This can be really difficult, sorry you are dealing with it! This is a nasty trick that the OCD does from time to time to keep us in "doubt" about recovery. We often find that once you have habituated or learned that one OCD "theme" is no longer as difficult, the OCD may try to latch onto something else that's even more powerful - eg your fear of relapse or for some people "going crazy". This can be really hard but still is very responsive to treatment using the same techniques and interventions with other fears. You could always try some exposures around your triggers which may be things like pictures of mental institutes etc. Just be careful and make sure you are resisting rituals, too! Hope this helps.