It is not denial. It is acceptance.
You are not going downhill, you are recovering.
It is not a crime to live with bad thoughts, it is natural.
Anytime you have a bad thought, think about this: Without bad, how can there be good? For every bad thought you have there are just as many good thoughts in your head that you’re just too scared to notice.
Stand up for yourself against your ocd and you will thrive!