Thoughts do not define you. They have no strength, no power, thoughts are only ideas and that's it. They can't predict the future and neither change the past. You might not have control over them but that's alright, we try to handle what we can't and usually end up getting worse. Listen to your true desire and ignore the thoughts that arise, they will keep going, but ignore them, observe that they have joined your party without being invited, don't engage with them, when they pop up and you notice them, do not reply, just observe them and resume what you were doing or just do your most enjoyed activity! You will feel anxious but you won't get worse than this, nothing bad will happen and you've got this, you can do it! Anxiety will spike down on its own through a process called habituation. Engage the process and feel the anxiety that will pass! Intrusive thoughts are just like bees, they sting if provoked and will fly away if you observe them, acting like nothing has ever happened!