Have you ever felt like giving up ? Idk if that specifically means giving into a thought , but I mean just like solely giving up . Like , alright lemme embrace all of these untrue things ? Its so hard to find a new strength sometimes .

I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain

I know the solution is to always say “yeah that could be true, but I am choosing to live my life anyway.” However, I feel like my biggest issue is my brain always assuming that it is immediately true when I do that. Like if I say “maybe I’m attracted to teenagers, it’s possible,” then my brain INSTANTLY starts rationalizing that thought and defending it and being like “oh okay so you think this now and it makes sense because xyz, and now that’s who you are and your real desire is now and always will be teenagers.” I feel really alone in this area of feeling like my brain “accepting the thoughts” means my brain immediately accepts them as true. I obviously don’t want to think they’re true but I feel so stuck now.

I don't like how the internet talks about acceptance. Its always about "do not fight, hive up, accept the thoughts and feelings" but they never talk about the other side that acceptance is not giving up, letting yourself drown in the emotions and thoughts, just let the emotions do what they want to you, no you have the control to do whatever you want. And this is my problem when I want to take that control back i feel like im pushing away the feelings. Im tired of hearing "accept and allow every feeling" this can make you believe that you have to let yourself get drowned, this is not acceptance. Whenever I do it I just lost myself in the thoughts and emotions, but if I try to not lose myself then I fight and thats not acceptance... So this one now really bothers me....