I’ve been avoiding this person think it’s a compulsion but it’s so hard not to because the thought of liking them and not my person... scares me

I have had this exact situation happen. My therapist helped me work on it. Instead of avoiding them I put myself in situations where I would have to see them(they're a coworker) as an exposure. It was terrifying because of the thought that if I was around them I would find out I did like them and have to leave my wonderful boyfriend, but with time and exposure, it dissipated on it's own. I still get those thoughts from time to time, but they no longer give me much anxiety and I'm able to tune it out so to say. It became more background noise.

But I have so much sympathy for you and that situation. It was SO difficult. I felt guilty and gross and miserable for some time because of it.

OH MY GOSH ME!

Same here. If I can get pass the “gross” feeling maybe the anxiety will go away towards this person. It’s this intense feeling of gross and my whole body feels it.