anonymousN
- Date posted
- 4y
girlanongirlanon
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Ugh I agree with you. I don't think I'll ever want to be a girl or feel like a girl again. That's been robbed from me. It feels like I never was a girl at all. I feel like I have to just accept it. I've grown to hate the idea of my femininity, it repulses me.
anonymousNanonymousN
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m sorry , I hope we both get to get our lives back . This is so debilitating it’s driving me insane .
CesarCesar
- Date posted
- 4y
First thing to talk about is that God doesn't hate you, He loves you more than you could ever imagine. Words can't describe how much God loves you. I know what you might be thinking after that sentence. And no God is not punishing you or sending this to you, He's allowing this to happen but it doesn't mean He wants you to suffer. Ocd is the doubting disease, it will attack your values and have you think you're against them. Therapy is necessary to manage and beat ocd, it can be done with hard work there's people who can say they've beaten ocd, but beating it doesn't mean you won't have intrusive thoughts or feelings, regular people have them too, the difference is they don't overthink them, they move on. Seek therapy, ocd can't be beaten by logic or thinking it off, it feeds from overthinking and fear, you're not alone. Perhaps stay away from TV and everything that talks about your triggers. You don't have to stop being a woman, you can rediscover what it means to be a woman and women are strong, I'm sure you will recover, ocd can't beat you, you're a beloved child of God and He will never abandon you. Seek Him. God bless you
anonymousNanonymousN
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you 💗
[Deleted][Deleted]
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
anonymousNanonymousN
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you I’m trying so hard I really am but it feels like I can’t do it . It feels to real to be ocd this time . I feel like I can’t fight it anymore . The possibility scares me and everytime I’m somewhat sure that I’m fine the way I am I always question it . I constantly feel like I’m faking my symptoms and the images of me as a boy or a man are starting to become less and less disturbing like I’m getting used to them or like I’m okay with it and everytime I tell myself I wouldn’t be happy as a boy or that’s not who I am it alsways tells me Iwould be happy as a guy or that’s what I want or my identity changed or why is being a man so uncomfortable for you ? How do you know you hate it ? What makes you hate it and how do other people do it and I can’t shake it and I can’t stop thinking about caitlyn Jenner and it feels like I just need to accept this lifestyle now and accept that it is real . It makes me feel like I don’t like my woman body parts anymore . This is pure torture . I’m all out of options …
anonymousNanonymousN
- Date posted
- 4y
@BlueMountain Thank you , you’re very helpful and I appreciate your kindness
Related posts
sofiaraaah7
- Date posted
- 24w
Really effing scared
I don’t know why I keep triggering myself but I think it’s real this time. I’m really fucking scared. I don’t want to be a boy but I feel like I have evidence now. Honestly this is the worst I’ve ever been, my anxiety is so bad and I really think it’s true I don’t want to be a boy but fuuuuuuck it feels like there’s no way out. I’m only 14 and I already feel like my life is over before its even started :(( I miss the girl I used to be Edit: I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I’m doing compulsions by going on trans forums to confirm I’m not trans, any advice to help me stop?? I really need your help :(
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 20w
I feel so different from others
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
landonw
- Date posted
- 10w
It’s Intense…
Today I woke up and immediately was flooded with intrusive thoughts. I was thinking about how I want to remembered when my time on earth is finished. I want to be remembered by my kindness and my heart. I want to be remembered by the lives i’ve changed. But then it hit me. What if you want to be a girl? What if you’re just telling yourself you don’t want to be a girl? I shouldn’t be scared, my family would love me no matter what I was. But this.. This is taking its toll on me. People call me maam all the time. I have feminine features and qualities.. It makes me question everything I know about my life. But I think what makes it worse is that i’m scared but don’t feel scared? Like I don’t feel intense fear like I once did. I know that I don’t want to be a girl. I don’t want boobs or long hair and nails. I have feminine qualities but I just exist. And this morning it’s hitting me very hard. I hate TOCD. I hate that I can’t just have one moment of peace. That it finds ways to seep into my life by finding areas i’m weakest in. I read other people’s stories and kinda do checking with it. And to make it all worse my for you page is FILLED with trans tiktok’s and peoples experiences. It’s making me mad. Why can’t I just be happy? Like everyone else in my house? Why did I inherit this stupid fucking disorder? And why do I question everything single thing about myself. First it was fear I was going to hurt someone and be a monster. And now it’s fucking thoughts of me wanting to be a girl?? Anyways have a nice day guys.
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