I like to think that I’m a computer and I got a virus from an illegal movie site and now I’m experiencing OCD the pop up ads from hell.

I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.

Having ocd that I’m gonna become this horror movie guy, how do I fix this lol it’s crazy

How the hell do I tell this to my therapist?! So like I said about shape-sifting fictional characters like Pennywise sometimes when they’re male I get attracted to them by their charm for example bob gray aka Pennywise in It. Idk if you know the IT lore but IT the creature is supposed to be female or so they say but the clown bob gray is male. Which triggers my ocd cause I don’t want to be attracted to a female character now my intrusive thoughts is like oh I can’t handle it I wish I was dead like Georgie. I may have to get rid of everything I have that deals with this movie cause it triggered a thought I thought I would never have. I haven’t even watched the movie but when everyone started talking about it again cause a new series is coming up the thought just keeps coming back😭 SOS