I just feel depressed and anxious that Im gay now, Its so difficult to get out of bed in the morning, every cell in my body just feels tired and exhausted. As soon as I wake up I have a very negative anxiety feeling. Dont know If I am or not but it certainly feels like it, imagining about dudes feels more "natural" Idk why but ugh. God is this what Lgbt kids go through? Is this why they are all so depressed? I thought I liked Girls all my life? Was that not real? Or do I just like same sex more than opposite?

Know what?

Do you mean that sometimes Hocd can be true? Because I think that their anxiety mostly centers around being in a homophobic place and not wanting to be gay, not actually not being gay if that made sense.

@Zoe Im worried that I just cant accept that Im gay, ugh I hate it I want to d!e

@Zoe Hi Zoe I was always told by therapists that having hocd meant this wasn’t true just like PoCD means they aren’t pedophiles and harm ocd means they are not killers so doesn’t HOCd mean the same???

@Anonymous Yeah it does. I’m saying that if you ever hear someone say they had hocd but were in denial they most likely weren’t scared about dating or sex with men/women they were worried about the effects of being gay where they live.

I dont think I want to like guys though, I just dont, it just dosent feel right. I only saw guys as brothers or friends prior to ocd. If I cant like just girls then I dont want either gender. Id rather d!e

@Imaan7 If this helps, I somewhat think most people have thoughts about each sex and it may not mean anything. Thoughts are thoughts. I’m a straight female and I have had passing thoughts about females. This may not be your case but it could be! You will figure this out. Try not to let it consume you because either way you will be okay

@hfair121691 I am so confused now as my therapist said anyone with hocd isn’t Gay. Do you suffer with ocd yourself

@hfair121691 But we have been diagnosed with HOCd and told it means we are not and is just like any other form of OCD and meaning it’s not true? Would you advise some with harm ocd to go hurt someone?

@Anonymous Don’t keep using your diagnosis as reassurance. You are right, no one should recommend that we go out and experiment (with either sex I think) because that’s going to give OCD more fuel. It’s hard for people without hocd to understand what it’s like because being gay is a common thing, for example I’m a lesbian. It is kind of annoying when people say “don’t let thoughts consume you” because it’s not like we can stop it, that’s what ocd does.

@Anonymous Wait what? No. I’m sorry if what I said was wrong. I didn’t mean any harm. I do have OCD.

@Zoe Why shouldn’t I use my diagnosis as reassurance as also have POCD so does that mean I am also in denial and I could be then? I don’t quite understand what you are saying? I am getting sent to an OCD clinic in a month.. why would I be sent there if I was Gay What is your OCD?

@hfair121691 What ocd do you have??

@Anonymous Really anything. So I would say Pure O

@hfair121691 So are you saying your OCD is true then? Are you actually in denial of your thoughts?

@Anonymous Because you aren’t supposed to reassure yourself every time you have doubt because I’m pretty sure that’s a compulsion. You aren’t going to get anywhere if you don’t accept the uncertainty meaning if you just use your diagnosis to reassure yourself it’s not going to help. I also have So-ocd and inc3st ocd. I’m not saying youre gay because a gay person wouldn’t want to not sleep with or date men. (That was worded weirdly sorry) I’m just saying don’t use your diagnosis as a way to reassure that you aren’t, sit with the uncertainty.

@Zoe But I get all these graphic sexual images of men 24/7 I kiss walls to try and chase disgust, I bend over to anaylse, I kiss walls and sing them imagining it’s a man and much more. This has destroyed my 10 year relationship with my girlfriend and now I just don’t know who I am anymore. I have been to see Ocd therapists who have said I am not gay and it’s OCd. So if you’re a lesbian do you get thoughts about men etc??

@Anonymous Yes I get lots of thoughts about men that i don’t want and don’t like, I do the same things you do, I imagine kissing men s3x with them and being in a relationship. So it’s like yours but I’m a girl. Straight girls would worry about liking girls, I worry about liking boys just like you do.

@Zoe So does Hocd mean we are not then and this is just OCD as that’s what’s my therapist has said.

@Anonymous Yes it’s just ocd but telling yourself over and over isn’t going to help you get better

@Zoe So how do I get better 😥

@Anonymous If I knew that…

@Zoe So does POCD mean I am not pedophile and does HOCD mean I am not Gay? Yes or No 😥

@Anonymous Neither mean anything, it just means you have OCD.

@Zoe So does that mean I am not a pedophile then??? This is what I need answering

@Anonymous That’s reassurance which is what I’m not supposed to give you because that will give you relief for a few seconds but if won’t solve your problem because it will come back. But just remember ocd makes us think things, it doesn’t make them true.

I am now really scared by this comment as I have been diagnosed with HOCd and my therapist said not to experiment as it wouldn’t help. He said we wouldn’t advise people to go do something with a child or hurt someone who has harm ocd. I am really confused now

@Anonymous It’s really hard to not panic if you have HOCD, I wouldn’t take this comment to seriously because Idk if they understand HOCD. Maybe they do tho idk. I think maybe it’s because you said guys feel more “natural” now. Just remember hocd makes us think that we want something, it doesn’t make us actually want it.

I dont want to experiment with anyone lol

@Zoe Were you talking about me or m.m?

@Imaan7 I was talking about how m. m might not understand hocd but the last part was just advice.