Please help. I could really use some comfort and hope right now. The last week or two my obsessions are bouncing all over the place and new ones are forming before I am even comfortable with the old ones. I have heard that during the erp treatment as you start to make progress you may get a higher quantity of obsessions as ocd tries to get a better grip on you. I hope that this is what is going on and that means I am making progress, but it is coming at a heavy price. Tonight, my mothers cat who I absolutely adore came and laid on my lap for like 10 minutes. She rarely ever does this so I consider it a special treat. This time however, I started to worry about “what if I were to suddenly get groinals (might not have spelled that right) while she is on my lap”. I have never actually had this symptom occur in any of my obsessions to date but they sound horrifying. I did not end up experiencing them tonight, but just because I had the fear is enough to consume me with guilt. I can’t believe that not even having the symptom, but just being afraid of it happening, is enough to send me into a tailspin. I am so sad and want to just cry (I am already on the verge of tears while typing this) and confess to my mom and beg forgiveness but I don’t want to give in to more compulsions.

Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Relax. ❤️

I am just so sad. I never expected my ocd to latch onto her. Usually I am pretty strong and the maybe/maybe not statements are enough but this time I just feel so alone and that this erp treatment is just wearing down my will power while increasing my obsessions. 😞

@Nicole0223🌻 You're not alone. Getting better can at times make you feel worse, it's part of the process. I understand that though. OCD attaches to what you love and it sucks.

@urbread Thank you!

You have nothing to confess for. Resist and breath threw it these thoughts will pass. They always do!

Every time I see her, the sadness and guilt shoot right through me. I am surrounded by family and yet they have no idea how much I am suffering. I have thus far been able to resist sharing any of my thoughts with them to keep myself from compulsively confessing and avoid extreme shame and embarrassment but it makes my treatment isolating and exhausting to have to hide it.

@Nicole0223🌻 I understand. My ocd actually tells me I CANNOT share things with my parents. They want to know about my ocd so they can help me but I cannot tell them anything. Share with them how you are feeling and how it’s hard for you and give them recourse where they can learn more about ocd but DO NOT APOLOGIZE you have no need to. Remember this is the illness in your head not you. Think of it like your enemy you need to delete the ocd don’t let it win. And do not apologize for it.

@Heyyyo Thank you for the kind words!

Just take deep breathes and remember that you can do this!

Thank you!