Going through the same theme for the past day- no sleep because I don’t deserve it obviously
It’s the worst. It’s gotten to the point where I envision my future as a literal p. I’m sorry you have to go through this
Everything you fear, everything that torments you is completely normal, everything comes out of ocd. You should, and you will be alright. What is happening is that you are getting intrusive thoughts and the issue is that you engage with them, argue with. What are those thoughts and what do you do with them? I'm here to tell you that those thoughts are something that ocd pushes into your mind without you realising it just yet, it tells you illogical, bad and wrong things about yourself that you think they are your own and you get scared, anxious. What do you do about it? You acknowledge their presence and let them roam free without you replying. "Wait a second, are you crazy, what are you trying to say?" Ignoring the thoughts and leaving them free will make them roam and then leave the same way they joined. Thoughts are only ideas, they have no power, they are meaningless, they don't have the power to change the future neither the past, they won't change you or harm you. You should let them be there, embrace the feeling of anxiety. It might sound crazy but this is the cure, you need to stay anxious and see that there is not an actual danger, the anxiety will go down by itself, the process is called habituation, you will get used to it and gain tolerance to it which will help you recover! Your thoughts telling you those bad things are nothing, don't let them hurt you, Don't reply to them or argue with them, just leave them alone and they will leave as soon as they join. You are an amazing person, a kind person, what if a stranger, comes in and tells you that you are dumb? You won't listen to him, you will reply: yeah yeah, whatever you say then move on! Obviously you won't become dumb just because it told you that. Take care!! I will support you further if you need me
Thank you so much❤️ but what if I’m not getting intrusive thoughts lately? I used to get them a lot but now I don’t and that’s part of why I’m worrying so much, because intrusive thoughts are a part of ocd, but how am I supposed to have ocd if I’m not getting intrusive thoughts?
@random_person Intrusive thoughts do not come as a DLC with ocd, haha. The thing is it might still be present and you don't realise it, it is the lies it tells you and you think they are your own. You don't have to worry! Imagine it would say what it normally does to you, you will agree with it. So what? What if you are what it tells you? It is not their business. Admitting to those "ideas" won't make you act in real life! It might feel like it will become real but it won't!
If you are scared of what will happen, fear not, everything is fine and you can laugh at those silly thoughts, they do not define you! Nobody is able to do it but yourself. Follow your heart desire, you know you really aren't what ocd says, so follow what you really want!
If you want further help and want some personal space, you can add me on discord, it is located in my profile's biography, a the bottom. I understand what you are going through and I could try and fix whatever you fear the most.
My counselor told be today that OCD can manifest as images, urges, or thoughts. It can sometimes be tricky to identify what exactly it was that triggered you.
That is one of the most common things, dangerous, that we find disturbing and try to suppress it.. Which is not very healthy
@Gabbriel Having a hard time with that now 🥲
@kathernyr As I tell everyone and repeat, ignorance is the key but it needs time to take shape and develop a healthy habit!
@kathernyr Get well soon!