Is it just me that have some moments of clarity? Anxiety never completely vanishes, but it's just enough so I can see clearly my situation, and see that this isn't who I am. And then, I realize: omg, I stopped worrying! But shouldn't I be trying to solve this? And then BAM! Anxiety kicks in again, and I'm no longer able to discern my thoughts, and I keep worrying if they're true, like those moments of clarity meant nothing or didn't happen at all.

omg. yes. every single day. it’ll stop for a little and i laugh and i’m like wow i knew these thoughts were fake. then bam it hits me and i’m like oh shit what did i just do haha

Every. Day.

What I’m trying to do is just be content. I find that if I look for that EUREKA moment, I get worried and anxious that I won’t keep it. Trying to find the happiness is keeping the anxiety alive. So what I’m trying to do is just be content with everything, live my life before this happened, and then hope and pray happiness will follow.

I completely understand, really I do. And I wish I could say something to make you feel better. But the best thing I can say is this: once you get your anxiety under control NOT ELIMINATE IT, but manageable, our OCD makes us prone to worry, whether we won’t hold on to the happiness, whether it’ll come back, etc etc, but once you get it to manageable, be satisfied with that. And you will. Don’t look for that happiness feeling, don’t look for solutions. Trust the uncertainty that happiness will follow.

It's a very hard thing to do, though. Life isn't the same, no matter what I do. I don't care about normal things like I used to. It's really saddening for me to think that I'd rather not having been born. I used to love being alive, and having so much beautiful expectations for the future. Now I'm in a dark pit, and I can't see the light.

do anxiety medications help with ocd? like i know it calms the anxiety down and everything and i’m going on lots of medications soon and so i was wondering if some of the meds will help calm down ocd

Well some do but I changed from paroxetine (was on it 10 or so years) to fluoxetine for the last 6 weeks. I am going back to paroxetine because although I had flare ups of my OCD I never had this Mich anxiety. The Prozac (fluoxetine) has given me SO much anxiety I can't believe it. Never again will I mess with my meds!! Over 30 odd years of having OCD I have never had diazepam to calm me down because I have refused it......but now I have!! Xx