Does anyone else wish the idea of sexual attraction and anything sexual just never existed?

What’s everyone’s experience with loss of attraction to their preferred gender? (Not looking for reassurance, and I know people say stop trying to get it back) When I see a good looking woman, I feel sad that I can’t get feelings like I use too. Like the very bottom of my stomach feels heavy like it’s depressed… I know I want to be attracted to woman but this SOOCD and false attraction is destroying me.

Anyone experiencing loss of attraction to opposite sex (what you had before any of this)…? I get the feeling that I like what I see in the opposite sex but then hit with what feels like depression or numb with makes me feel sad.

When trying to find explicit anime stuff i enjoy, i keep stumbling across POCD related content I find disgusting and disturbing... but then i get this urge to click on it... when i do, im immediately disgusted and quickly exit out because I hate that content... it happened a couple of times tonight... i hate it so much... i feel like a bad person because of this... My POCD is labeling this as an unconscious attraction... chatGPT is saying this is morbid curiosity... i dont want to be attracted to men or kids... i dont want to be attracted or even curious about it... i just hope its not subconscious attraction, let alone any form of conscious attraction at all... im genuinely disgusted...