Does anyone else wish the idea of sexual attraction and anything sexual just never existed?

Me, as much as I want women, Im tired. I wish I never had a sexuality.

Yes. I wish I was asexual honestly but then maybe I'd think I had more 'proof'

YES

I’m straight I just prefer not to get a gf or anything like that cuz I think it’s a waste of time and energy

When I read or watch something I prefer kids books or just documentaries about stuff that doesn't have anything to do with romance or sexuality. I have SOOCD overlapping with ROCD, so when I watch or read a story about a straight romance I worry because I am comparing me and my boyfriend to the story and obsess whether we really are in love and when it deals with lgtbq I obsess whether I relate or not and why and to what degree and it causes me anxiety. So I'd prefer to avoid the theme of love and sexuality alltogether but of course avoidance is what we should not do so I try to face it nevertheless...