no idea if this is a theme, but i told someone a lie while i was drinking (that something happened on a different day than it actually did) and now i’m trying not to retreat, google about lying, delete all social media, etc. because i don’t want to taint other people’s lives for being a liar….maybe some kind of morality theme?

i need some kind words or maybe some advice? basically i went through trauma as a kid including sexual, and acted out in disturbing ways. I’ve done things i regret. even as an early teenager i did also. the only weird things ive done recently were compulsions and weird ocd driven stuff… but besides that ive found it easy to forgive myself for a lot of stuff because i know myself and my intentions and also talking to people helps. but one thing that’s hard is when im intimate with others or in a relationship. i feel so gross and undeserving like if they knew everything ive done in my life they would hate me. I don’t tell everyone everything, i think i only did that with therapists and like one family member. I feel like if I don’t tell someone everything I’ve done that I regret and see if they forgive me for it, then that means im “hiding” something about me and being malicious. anything helps :(

Hi all, I’ve just started a new relationship with the most amazing woman. She recently asked me when the last time I had sex was, and my mind immediately went back to a time in April this year. I felt peace after telling her that, but the next morning I woke up feeling dread because I remembered that there was actually a time a month after that (in early May) when I was sexual with someone else but there was no intercourse. I had no intention to deceive my girlfriend when I told her that the last time I had sex was in April. I now feel like I need to let my girlfriend know about the early May incident because even though the last time I had intercourse was in April, I was sexual with someone in early May. Both incidents happened before I met my girlfriend. Then there was a time in mid-June when I messaged the woman I was sexual with in early May, but I immediately deleted that message without waiting for a reply and blocked her and nothing physical happened. That was after my girlfriend and I had been talking for about a month but hadn’t committed to each other to be exclusive, but we had said that we weren’t talking to anyone else at the time. I had forgotten about that incident until my girlfriend recently asked me when the last time I had sex was. Since my girlfriend and I have committed to each other to be exclusive, I haven’t had any contact with any other woman that could be seen as betrayal. I can’t stop thinking that I lied to my girlfriend about the last time I had sex and that I need to tell her about the contact attempt with the other woman in mid-June, even though both were before her and I committed to each other to be exclusive. Is this my OCD being overly morally scrupulous and over-thinking, or do I need to confess to my girlfriend? Her and I have built a great foundation of trust and intimacy and I don’t want to ruin that. And what would be a good ERP way to deal with this?

I just remembered when I was about 13 and this girl kept posting things about white people being racist and I answered back saying not all white people are like that and asking why she was saying it (I was STUPID and didn't know anything about the world and even though I can't remember it fully it wasn't meant to be malicious or anything) and then she got angry, which is fair, so I got defensive about it and she posted a screenshot on her story. I'm 21 now and definitely more aware of the world. Do I tell my boyfriend about this because I feel like I'm lying to him by not telling him and pretending to be good when I'm not (context I'm white he's not). We talk about race and societal issues all the time so we're both well aware of our political leanings I'm just scared I'm being deceitful and a fraud.