I just wanna love my life. I DESERVE IT WHY CANT I HAVE IT. I AM SO TIRED I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I NEED MY LIFE. I HAVE SO MANY DREAMS SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO! OCD DESTROYS MY LIFE. DIZZINESS, PINS AND NEEDLE'S, DIFFICULTY BREATHING, BREATHING TICS ARE DESTROYING mY PEACE. It's so so sad I'm 17 years old and I suffer since 9. OCD is something I would wish even to my worst enemy and I tell this with my whole heart. I wish it wouldn't exist. I need my life back. I am crying , I am worrying especially health anxiety. I can't be that bad anymore. This has to stop. I can't worry constantly about if I have a serious illness, about during or paralyzing, about becoming blind, about becoming crazy. This is insane!!!! Who the f@@k asked me and gave me these feelings. I want to be normal. I WANT TO F@@KING LIVE MY LIFE

I’m a 20 yr old female, I think I’ve always had ocd but the symptoms didn’t become apparent to me until I was about 17. I feel like that’s where life went downhill for me. OCD attacks everything that is important to me, my sexuality, my morals, even my health. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again and not have this vicious disease in my head constantly bullying me. But I know I will overcome it one day.

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

i want to get this out of the way; i’m not suicidal. i’m a 17 y/o guy whose been living with OCD for what i assume is most of my life despite only getting the diagnoses last year. i’ve been hustling on despite my mental health really consuming my life to moments in time where i question my sanity and self control. it’s the lack of control that really kills me with this disorder. each day i wake up, it’s the same persistent reminders; it’s the same meaningless conversations replaying; it’s the same small rituals that just barely let me breathe before the thoughts return. nothing i do is gonna stop that unbearable monogamy where i have to sit back and let my eyes be peeled open; i don’t know how to live with that. no pill has worked on me, and any response i give the thoughts just make them worse. right now i’m trying to just sit through it and not care. don’t let it effect me emotionally; try not to feel the discomfort. then it starts to manifest into physical pain where i feel the bones of my chest have this pressure—like staples entering them at the rhythm of a heart beat. i’m getting though this, but i’m not enjoying my life when doing so. i don’t know if i have a future where it isn’t just this repeating through the process of each day. i don’t want to spend the rest of my life avoiding the one thing i’m supposed to have control over. i also don’t want to drown my days in self medicating or get addicted doing so—like i already am. i don’t see the way to make this life of mine work, especially given how much i don’t have to do deal with at my age. of course that will come to. look, i’m not at risk; i really don’t want in anyway to die despite being basically hopeless. i’m numb to the pain of it, i don’t feel anything in my desire to escape these cycles, i just need an out. i’m not seeing a way to move forward. i’m willing to hear anything.