Can anyone help me out? I hear people say “actions define you, not thoughts” and it gives me anxiety. The compulsions I’ve done that I regret were actions, do those define me? The mistakes I made when I was younger were actions, do those also define me?

i dont think that saying even applies when u have ocd

Well that saying can’t be thought of as literal. If I woke up late for a week, and then the next week woke up early, how should I be defined? If I am shy and don’t talk to anyone at a party, but the next day I’m chatting with anyone who walks by me; how should I be defined? You see what’s going on here. You are not an “idea.” Humans are more complex and real than that. I wouldn’t define anyone to be honest, because if I did it would just be a symbolic gesture. But ultimately you fall in a big trap when you try to define yourself. You also limit yourself because then you believe you can’t change and that’s a fixed mindset. It’s better to have a growth mindset where you don’t identify with your actions, but you learn from them. They are just lessons in life for you to find your path and the right course for you. Imagine a submarine looking for its enemy target. It’s not defined by the errors it makes. Because in fact a submarine works in the way that it makes errors to solve the problem.

In my opinion, that saying goes right out the window when you have OCD. I happen to believe that neither your thoughts define you. I love this quote by Maya Angelou "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better. Do better." Everything we experience has a lesson to teach us.

Yea when we have OCD we can’t really listen to these kinds of quotes- I feel like they are more geared toward the average person who doesn’t overthink everything. They don’t apply to us because we split hairs. And we have all done a bunch of shit that we regret but we aren’t defined by any of it. We are just learning as we go along, doing the best we can.