BIG TRIGGER WARNING. Okay, this is taking a lot in me to write this post. I am 23 and I have ocd. I was talking to my specialist yesterday about a memory I have from when I was 17 or 18 and I had just moved to college and I was on my own. In my memory, I was going to the bathroom and my dog came up and sniffed me. Out of curiosity, I didn’t stop him but he just sniffed me and walked away. I guess I was curious as to what would happen if he licked me down there. So anyways the moment passed and I never had that thought or curiosity since. I woke up yesterday morning with the memory playing over and over in my head and I am beating myself up over this. I am not sleeping at night and I’m constantly anxious about being a horrible person and going straight to hell. I love my dog so much and he’s my best friend and I would never hurt him. I wouldn’t let him in my room yesterday because I was so scared to look at him. This alone is causing me to be very depressed and hopeless feeling. Can anyone give advice?

Really?! Could you possibly share? Not if you don’t feel comfortable! Just knowing that makes me feel less alone!

Asking for reassurance will keep this memory around longer but I will let you know you lots of people do similar stuff and it doesn’t make them bad people what so ever. Human’s are naturally curious and do odd things sometimes. You’re not special. You love your dog and deserve to let this go.. now don’t go asking for anymore reassurance and you’ll be ok 😊 practice self compassion

No worries at all. It’s a tough theme to get past. Reassurance becomes like a drug

I can honestly say THANK YOU, THANK YOU for acknowledging that even simply potentially making your dog do that you is dog abuse. Many times OCD tried to convince me it isn’t dog abuse, but I know it is. You are a kind person. I too, couldn’t be around my dog…… I can assure you you simply not wanting to be around your dog ensures you don’t want to do that. But you have to accept uncertainty until it all fades away.

I don’t actually think it is animal abuse at all.. but accepting it’s something that doesn’t line up with your values rather than trying to convince OCD you did nothing wrong is helpful because OCD will always have a return argument and the conversation is never ending

I think that’s probably a good idea and follow up with some self compassion like every human being on this planet wishes they could go back and change something from their past.. you’re not alone 😊… tbh I don’t think you did anything that warrants the guilt you’re feeling, but that doesn’t satisfy OCD and it never will. The only way past is acceptance, lean into those uncomfortable feelings and continue with your day. They will fade with time. There is no quick fix and OCD is forever looking for a quick fix. I learnt this the hard way

@JessA 🌞 Okay. I’ll definitely do that. thank you so much for all your support!