- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
im wondering that too :(
Accept that they may or may not be true and ask yourself why does it matter anyway?
Guess it feels like it effects me now :(
@Hopeforthefuture But is it worth ruining your life over?
So hard to not engage the thoughts because even though it's from the "past" (i don't even know if im remembering things correctly and it kills me) and i can't change it, I just NEED to prove it to myself that it didn't happen this way. If you'd asked me questions maybe a few months ago, I would have been able to lucidly explain things. Now I just feel like I'm in a constant swarm of thoughts, not knowing if anything is real. If my brain is to be trusted. Wish I could just get hypnosis to forget
Hi all, Iām really grateful for all the support Iāve gotten from people in the last few days. My mental health is at an all time low and I really appreciate the relief people have brought. I had a question about whether an intrusive image of a potentially imagined event can feel just as real as a real memory. Iām doing my best to stop ruminating over an image I have in my head, and have gone so far as requested security footage of myself and have been told both through that and by my friends that nothing bad happened, but the image in my head feels just as real as other memories. I was also drinking the night in question, which makes it harder for me to dismiss the image and makes me feel like I shouldnāt. I was just wondering if imagined images can feel just as real? Iām trying to use tools to ignore the image, and have therapy scheduled for tomorrow, but I feel like I canāt responsibly dismiss the image even with the evidence Iāve gathered if thereās something about a real memory that looks different in the brain and that if so, that suggests my memory is real and I should confess it. Iām really working on stopping reassurance seeking as well, especially now that even after being told that nothing bad happened when the establishment I was at reviewed security footage, my brain is telling me ātheyāre probably just lying and never reviewed it.ā I know I need to just stop ruminating, reassurance seeking, and mentally checking the memory, but I just donāt know if I can/should in case the image is what I should trust more, if that makes sense.
How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an āintrusive thoughtā where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking āwhat ifā and āwhat is thisā and then that intrusive thought turned into me ārememberingā something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ādetailsā and what nots. and Iāve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and Itās like Iāve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk
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