I hate, hate, hate it when I self-sabotage and look at things I know are going to make me feel upset/anxious. It's such a sneaky compulsion and very hard to control.

me too.

Can you explain how this is a compulsion? I do this too and never realized it was one!

I do this too as a compulsion. And also, in therapy I’ve done the exact same thing (like literally googling the same thing) as an exposure. I know it is confusing, but it was all about my attitude going in and emotional regulation during the process. I know compulsions are supposed to be things that relieve our stress (temporarily) but many of my compulsions make things immediately worse and I still do them. (??)

I have exactly the same pattern. It’s like a compulsion to google things that I know will make me upset and feel horrible about myself. It’s so hard to stop.

Did this today. It’s sucks

How is this self sabotaging if I may ask? Sounds like you’re doing exposures,