- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I would suggest talking with a therapist about this. It seems like you had a traumatic experience. You are actively avoiding not interacting with anything that reminds you of that place or period of time in your life. A therapist could help you learn how to handle triggers that being up painful memories.
- Date posted
- 4y
I really really want to talk to a therapist but I just donât know how to ask my mom. I know she will be ok with it but I know itâs going to break her when she finds out why.
- Date posted
- 4y
@LoveyDuck You don't necessarily have to tell her at this moment the whole story. I believe today's parents understand the need for therapy. Try letting her know you've been under a lot of stress and have been struggling with some things lately and think talking through things with a therapist would help. If your parents ask for details, mention that you're not ready to share but when you are ready, you will let them know. Basically, let them know you are appreciative of them caring but are not ready to talk about things just yet. (You may end up choosing not to share anything with your parents and that is fine too). It will take a lot of courage to ask for help, but you can do this! You can do hard things!!!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Bailey253 Ok thank you so much. I am really going to try my best. Iâll will update when the times comes. I canât thank you enough. This was a great post and very informative and helpful. Thank you! Hope all goes well with you!
- Date posted
- 4y
No I really do not. Thank you by the way for talking to me. It was very nice and eye opening!
- Date posted
- 4y
I donât understand how this situation could be ârightâ or âwrong.â Itâs just opinion. I have been at sleepovers and things where people dare you to strip and things like that. Why is that so horrible? And have gotten changed in front of my friends all my life. And went skinny dipping with my friend. Also itâs not your job to worry about that girl- you need to do what is best for you. Itâs nothing to feel guilty about.
- Date posted
- 4y
I think the thing personally that really got to me was the fact that it was so pressured. I said manytimes that I was fine and didnât want to but kept getting pressured. And with the ocd now Iâm having trouble securing my story. I keep thinking what Iâm saying could be wrong or something idk.
- Date posted
- 4y
@LoveyDuck What part are you worried is wrong?
- Date posted
- 4y
This is very dismissive. Just because you are fine with changing in front of others or skinny dipping doesnât mean others are. Avoiding because of this situation means that it was traumatic for LoveyDuck. Trauma is real and shouldnât be minimized. LoveyDuck definitely reach out for therapy. As a mom I really do think your mom will be open to therapy for you. You donât need to give many details and anything you say to yourself therapist will be kept confidential. You choose what details to share outside of therapy
- Date posted
- 4y
@BritD Than you very much! Itâs nice to know this from another perspective! I am going to try my best to reach out to my mom. I really want to partake in therapy I just donât know how to bring up the idea? Thanks once again. I really liked this post!
- Date posted
- 4y
@LoveyDuck I would just say something to the effect of you have been struggling from anxiety and feel that speaking with a therapist could help. I think pretty much every human could benefit from therapy of some sort. Trauma is real and NOBODY gets to determine what it traumatic to someone else. Your trauma is real and you deserve to work through that and live a full life.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BritD Thank you so very much. You couldnât have said it anything better. Thank you so much for your insight! It means a lot to me that people feel as though therapy is a benefit. It should make talking to my mom a whole lot easier! Thank you so much. I really enjoyed talking with you! Thank you, and I hope all goes well with you!
- Date posted
- 4y
To be honest Iâm not sure. As a kid up until know (Iâm 15) I have always had a very hard time with personal things like this. I have never been comfortable dressing in front of people, never using the bathroom, and I think the thing about this and this could just be the ocd is that it wasnât MY decision. I felt as though I was pressured and because I have in it feels wrong to me. Honestly I donât know and sometimes I think Iâm over analyzing what happened to the point where I just donât know
- Date posted
- 4y
So you are afraid you undressed or did what you did because you were pressured to do so? And why would that be bad/wrong of you? Donât we all do things we are pressured to do?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous That is very true. To be honest at this point it was a long time ago so itâs not something that is playing a huge role at the moment in my life, but your right. I donât know why something like that would bother me đ¤ˇââď¸
- Date posted
- 4y
@LoveyDuck Yea it sounds like you are just a normal human being. Idk maybe someone could think of that as bad but do you really want to think you are bad every time you do something because you feel peer pressured?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
18+ people with this thread please. I just want some advice from people who have experienced this. Its been almost 2 years since my real event and i can confidently say that i feel a bit better about that and my thoughts. (We still have bad moments but we recover.) but, ever since then and before, i feel nasty and gross whenever i engage or interact with adult content. Like this nasty guilt or feeling like i cant interact with it because then my ocd says âthis proves that your thoughts are true and your perverseâ and after i always feel empty and disgusting. Besides things like that, i read adult fan fiction sometimes or even write stories for my original characters. And yesterday i shared these stories with a close in person friend of mine. (Were both in college) and they were fine about it we laughed about it but then after i felt guilty-my brain was telling me âyou traumatized her she just doesnât wanna tell youâ obliviously this isnât true but im having a hard time believing it and this morning i woke up with a deep dread that i hurt a friend and im horrible. I can say that theyâre more positive about these things then me and i think thats why we got into the conversation and i felt comfortable to share these stories but i just canât get over it. I have a strong urge to ask for reassurance but i know it wont help. I literally have no one else to talk to about this. Ive spoken to my therapist about this guilt with adult content and we have yet to expand on it especially how it goes hand in hand with my asexuality. My therapist tells me its human to feel things like this and its ok to perform self care like that and again-im a human person its usually normal for 19 year olds to be like this especially for someone my age but i dont feel normal. I feel nasty. Does anyone else feel this way? How did you confront this guilt and how did you feel comfortable again interacting with these feelings and actions again? I dont really have a desire to do s*xual things often (im on the asexual spectrum) but when i do i dont want to feel like this. Especially when my ocd types effect it. Advice is needed and appreciated thank you for your help.
- Date posted
- 19w
I think I know what honestly is what caused my OCD. Iâve never told anyone this but I have to if I want help. When I was either 10 or 11, I think 10 I was at my familyâs thanksgiving dinner. Around this time I discovered porn and got addicted. I would watch porn and read erotica. Because of this I guess I wanted to experiment. I feel absolutely horrible just thinking about this but I was playing around with my little cousin, he was around 7 I think and I remember we were playing chase or hide and seek, and I grabbed him and hugged him (something I never done before), and got a boner. I did this for pleasure. Thatâs all I did that was sexual but I feel so horrible. I try to give myself grace as I was only 10 and didnât know the consequences of something so disgusting. I keep thinking âwhat if I went farther and hurt him?â. I talk to him sometimes and he seems comfortable with me and I think he doesnât even remember this ever happened and just thought I hugged him for some reason all those years ago. I am NOT attracted to him at all but I think this incident and remembering it when I was 14 has caused my OCD such as POCD for all these years. I am 18 now but I feel absolutely horrible. And now itâs even worse because I have been invited to his 15th birthday party in Mexico. Iâm traveling all the way to another country just to be near him! Obviously I know I wonât touch him or be innopropriate with him. But what if he has felt uncomfortable with me all this time? He seems fine with me and not uncomfortable around me but still. If I feel as if I go to this trip, I am a horrible person. I donât know what to do. Am I a horrible person for what I did and continuing to be around him? I remember reading Reddit and Quora stories of similar people who felt horrible and people told them to not feel bad as they were only children and they learned and now know that was wrong and that to not tell anyone as it could only make things extremely awkward.Please help. I know COCSA is a very serious topic that harms people and I feel like a horrible perpetrator now.
- Date posted
- 14w
I would really appreciate it so much if someone took the time to read this and help me. I donât know what to do anymore. I havenât posted here in awhile. I had my OCD managed pretty decently for a year or so on medication, but I had to stop taking it, and after around 3-4 months, the OCD has become unbearable again. It used to be much more surrounding existential themes, eating, and others, not really real event/false memory stuff. But now itâs gotten really out of hand and I donât know how to do it anymore. Itâs surrounding a time of my life a long time ago. It was a dark time. I wasnât myself and I was going through a lot of things, and I did a lot of things I regret. I self-destructed, embarrassed myself, and wasnât good to the people around me. I was able to get my mind off of it for a long time, even though I would still think about it a good amount. I was able to be in the present, at least moreso than now. But now that Iâm off medication, the guilt has become my obsession again. I canât move on. I canât do anything without thinking about all of these memories. Iâm obsessed. Iâve started hating myself again, so much so that itâs hard to do anything anymore or believe I deserve anything good. The people around me tell me it wasnât even that bad, but to me it was. To me, I failed myself, lost myself, and failed everyone around me. I canât stop thinking about every person I said something wrong to or every time I screwed up. Iâve now started to convince myself I did terrible things I canât remember, and that my mind just canât deal with it. And thatâs why I feel so guilty. Thereâs nothing to really support this though. But Iâm starting to really convince myself thatâs true. Iâm trying not to listen to it, because Iâve convinced myself I have hit people with my car before and havenât remembered when I absolutely didnât and I know I never have. I drive back over and over to check thereâs no one, even though I never heard any bang or felt myself anything. I can convince myself of some crazy false memories. So I know that I shouldnât listen. But itâs hard not to when I have this guilt gnawing at me constantly. I come to conclusions that this guilt must be because I did something terrible that I donât remember, even though I already think the things I remember were bad enough. But I would know by now right? If I did something bad I donât remember? I donât feel like this all the time. But itâs a lot of the time. But maybe that should be reassuring, that I only start obsessing like this when I think to. The past haunts me though. And I can never be in the present. Iâve started to resort to some unhealthy behaviors to distract myself or help me work towards something. I am starting to hate myself so much and feel like thereâs no way Iâll ever be able to get out of this loop. I feel like I just canât do this anymore. Maybe I need to go back on medication. But I donât know. I donât really want to. But will I ever fix this without it? Why do I feel SO guilty, all of the time? I do all these things for people because I feel indebted to them, because I feel undeserving of everything. I feel awful about myself. I donât know what to do. Does anyone else deal with this?
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