POCD is killing me. I feel like it’s real based on past evidence. Maybe it is real, but OCD is just matching onto it and overthinking it. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I cannot bear to be a p.

i feel this for sure. i’ve been thinking about my past and i’ve done some questionable things but… i’ve never thought of kids like this… i’m so scared of my own mind. i can’t handle this.

You aren’t! I know how you feel I’m struggling right now too! It’s really scary but you will never be your thoughts!

Your thoughts are just thoughts ❤️ We’re supposed to embrace uncertainty so I’m not going to tell you none of it can come true. But what I will say is that I have found comfort in repeating the phrase “I could, but I don’t want to” to myself. We have free will. And we are not our intrusive thoughts.

POCD is awful. I believe its the worst subtype, I’m sorry, but its truly awful to think of children this way. ESPECIALLY WITHOUT ANY PROOF. I want to go forward to days where I simply do not care about kids. I am pushing myself with ERP. I REFUSE TO BE A P. That is a life of shame and guilt.

I relate very much… it’s so scary. Just know that this is a thought. Just a thought. And that is obviously a lot easier said than done. But, we are all here to support you and you are not alone in this, I promise.

this theme started with two words. 😐 they are the most horrific words, I just want to clear my head & break free from them.

Sounds like you have pocd. Are you seeing a therapist?