- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I am and my partner knows. He's extremely supportive and tries his best to help me during my journey through therapy... I still think I'm a terrible person and I'll ruin his life, but maybe that's just OCD talking. He knows my previous stories with abuse especially as a child, we've grown together for 10 years... I'm surprised he didn't run away.. but nope.. he stayed strong...
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This makes me very hopeful for the future. I hope that I find someone who will understand that these thoughts aren’t me, they stem from my trauma as a child as well.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m sorry about your trauma I hope you heal🥺💗 . I’m so worried that I’m ruining his life :(
- Date posted
- 4y
My husband knows, he is super supportive.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m glad🥺💗
- Date posted
- 4y
hey! my partner does know about my POCD, and is very supportive of it. it wasn’t easy telling them, but i felt way better after. even though they’re supportive sometimes i feel like ‘oh no i’ve fooled them, they think i’m not a pedo.’ and i hate that thought… so that gets difficult sometimes.
- Date posted
- 4y
I just started with intrusive thoughts and it’s super scary and upsetting and I haven’t been myself lately because of this reason. He’s really worried that I’m just going to be depressed forever. And I’m not sure what to do
- Date posted
- 4y
Well my partner knew about all of the other types of ocd I have, so i had already explained the concept of it and he understood right away.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This is something I am curious about as well, because it seems like such an unachievable thing now for me as well bc of my pocd as well.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m in a relationship and I told him and he just laughed and told me thoughts are just thoughts. I told him it isn’t curable and he kinda got in an upset mood. And I’m not sure if I should break up with him so I’m not a burden to him
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous🤷🏽♀️ I wouldn’t make any quick decisions yet, but it is important to talk more with him and maybe try to show him some educational material so they might be able to understand a little more. It’s hard to explain to others how an OCD brain reacts to things compared to someone’s who brain isn’t controlled by OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Thank you I will try to explain to him. I mean I’m stilll learning as well. It just started and it’s really hard I’m not myself and I don’t know if I’ll ever be the person I was before 😪
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous🤷🏽♀️ I don’t know if there is ever a possibility to be the person you were before and I don’t mean to say this to scare you in any way. But OCD is a part of you now just like how it recently became a part of me as well. I wish nothing more than to go back to where I was before, but that isn’t how life works. We just have to keep going constantly changing always. We learn to adapt and we find those people around us who love us and will never think of us in the way that our brain is trying to make us think of ourselves.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous It’s hard I feel like I’m always in my head and that I’m not allowed to be happy. I just hope I can actually be happy and not be so depressed. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore:(
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi all! I was wondering if anyone being treated with ROCD and/or SOOCD has some advice on how they handle the things *with* their partner. For context, my ex and I were together ~7 months before we broke up a year ago, in large part due to my severe anxiety from untreated ROCD/SOOCD. I’ve gotten a lot better through NOCD treatment and we’ve been friends since then. But we’re currently in a “situationship” kind of stage, where I think we’re both trying to figure out if the relationship is still feasible, and I’m finding that I’m a lot more triggered as the relationship nears becoming “serious” again. We’re both really trying to figure out the healthiest way to handle when things get hard for me. Does anyone have input about what they’ve learned or found what has worked in their own relationships? Some specific questions: - I’ve found that when getting really triggered in my own head, I have no clue if I should explain how I’m feeling to my partner or how we should address it together. How do you differentiate between communicating versus falling into the confessing/reassurance trap? - Related to the above, my partner and I are both a bit lost on the best way for him to respond when I’m really paranoid (for examples, I have major I’m-being-cheated-on paranoia and overanalyze if I’m enjoying sex enough), or if I’m overreacting to feeling rejected/misunderstood (e.g. “he didn’t respond to my comment just now, he doesn’t care/he doesn’t get me/maybe we shouldn’t be together…”) - How much does your partner know about ROCD/SOOCD in general? How much have you shared with them about your thoughts and experiences? I’ve explained both subtypes and some of my thought processes to him, but definitely not all of it, and I’m not sure how much is helpful for him to know. Answers to any or all of the questions are very much appreciated. Thanks so much in advance! Hope you’re all well 💗
- Date posted
- 17w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond