- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
ššš„
- Date posted
- 3y
this is a good attitude to have!
- Date posted
- 3y
Heck ya thatās the spirit! šŖ
- Date posted
- 3y
YESSS
- Date posted
- 3y
Me too šš»
- Date posted
- 3y
That is the right attitude. Me too
- Date posted
- 3y
Awesome!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any š I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.
- Date posted
- 24w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i ādealā with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think itās insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, iām barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. iāve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still donāt consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where itās just, a lot to deal with. i donāt really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so iām usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like iāll contaminate wherever i end up going. iām not going to go really deep into my compulsions because itās hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff iām going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if thatās not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because iāve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. iām not sure if thatās my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain canāt help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. iām so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into whatās supposed to be āhomeā. and iām so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. iām planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but itās insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. itās crazy to me that iām dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, iām sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, I realize Iāve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasnāt diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldnāt explain: "What if God isnāt real? What happens when we die? How do I know Iām real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didnāt want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. Sheād say, "Maybe youāll kill yourselfāwho knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. Iām working again, Iām sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If youāre scared to try ERP, I get it. But if youāre already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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