hunty
- Date posted
- 4y
cmariacmaria
- Date posted
- 4y
This has helped me, knowing that: OCD thoughts are ego-dystonic i.e. inconsistent with a person's values. The reason you are worried is because you care so much about not feeling this way, because it is so the opposite of your character, and that's how it gets to you.
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
So what can I do? Just ignore the thought and live my life? This thought really bugs me! I have a husband, whom I love so much. I’m really even thinking of going on meds :(
cmariacmaria
- Date posted
- 4y
know that SO many people have these thoughts, but people without OCD (me once!) can have them as fleeting thoughts and not pay any attention to them. with OCD we can't ignore them, but we can slowly learn to see them as normal and not anything to be afraid of. talking helps normalise SO much. I have told my partner about thinking these exact things too and thought it was the worst thing in the world, but it didn't even phase him. if you feel ready to talk to your partner you can do it alongside showing him material on OCD so he can understand it is all part of OCD and not you as a person. I'm considering going back on meds, they helped me so much and shouldn't be looked down on!
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
You’ve had a thought like “i want to be _____” ? like its so weird , if I wanted to be I’d just be out there engaging in pedophilic behaviors right ? :/ Its so weird , last night I was having very saddening & inappropriate thoughts of my baby niece & nephews that I did not enjoy at all . I already have enough shame with POCD , why would I really want to be one …. I even want to take a polygraph to challenge this thought lol my judgment is so clouded . I tell myself I don’t want to identify as p like weirdos do & my mind says yes :/ I’m literally reaching out for so much help , meds , residential programs . Because I know once you are in that world its so hard to even consider getting out . I don’t want a life of shame & guilt . I’m sorry to go on , but I could really use help
Anonymous:,(Anonymous:,(
- Date posted
- 4y
@;-; I feel you last night I woke up with anxiety and my mind was trying to convince me I only want to be kids and that I am p word. I didn’t get much sleep and I’m so tired. I’m terrified to have sex or anything like that because my pocd latched on to my little sister and brother and I just get disturbing thoughts and I’m really terrified of me doing something
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous🤷🏽♀️ This theme is the worst!!!!!
cmariacmaria
- Date posted
- 4y
I would definitely look into therapy and meds if you think it's necessary. I am in a similar boat. I've had thoughts of what if I would do something to a child, what if I am a P and how can I ever have kids? I think it's come up cos I'm getting nearer to an age I might want to have kids, whereas I never had it before and have always been fine and loved being around kids, and obvs I still am but I have this niggling OCD sometimes. It is not you, know that, it is the opposite of you, and there is help out there.
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve already finished my therapy with OCD , here on NOCD . & have tools to overcome this theme . But this thought alone is killing me & I’ve made an appointment for meds , I definitely want my life back . OCD just doesn’t want to let go of me
Related posts
happygirl15
- Date posted
- 24w
POCD/ Intrusive thoughts & Images
so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
please44I
- Date posted
- 24w
Pocd
Why am I not anxious? Like at all anymore? Is it because I'm really avoiding and trying not to think of the consequences that come from possibly being a pdfile? Is the only thing that is worrying me about it is the consequences then does it mean that I really am one? But I never masturbated to the thought of a child and actively seeked it. It came as intrusive thoughts while I was doing it yes I've had them when I see kids yes and I question and check a lot if I'm attracted to them and its just confusing me, I know I'll never do anything to hurt a child and I don't even like the idea of becoming a pdfile then why am I not anxious enough about it? The thoughts are just distressing obsessive I feel disgusting and Id say I still do compulsions but I don't know something just doesn't feel right. I don't feel anything and no real attraction to anyone or anything anymore. I just feel so disgusting and I just want to be normal but then again I pretty much did this to myself. It's weird to me I know there isn't a real indication I'm a pdfile and past experiences pretty much prove that and I've always been attracted to older guys so why is this happening now? Why am I getting these thoughts now especially right after I was trying to fix this sexual obsession/tension I had for older guys. Is my brain just leaving one thing to love and be obsessed about and going to the other? I'm really really just confused. Not anxious just distressed confused and uncomfortable. Like I want to throw up but I don't feel intense anxiety in my chest it feels like maybe I haven't processed what's going on properly. I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want to have this stay in my mind. Sometimes I just miss my ex so much because at the time I've felt something I felt so much things even though I had really bad rocd. I just miss loving people again and being alive again. I'm so scared and confused right now can anyone explain to me what is this? I genuinely just want to understand what I'm feeling or thinking because its not making sense to me
please44I
- Date posted
- 24w
Pocd (again)
I know I'm not attracted to children, there's no proof I am and no indication that I am. Yet why do I still get these sexual intrusive thoughts? Why do I still feel so uncomfortable? Why do I feel disgusting, distressed and confused when I get them? Why do I get them in the first place yet I still don't feel anxious enough? I'm really confused about this. I'm not going to do anything to a child or think of a child that way yet at the same time It gets all over in my mind. Is it just me like uncovering some attraction to children that was buried and where would it even come from I've always been attracted to men that are older than me (not like grandpas or something but 1-6 years older) so why the hell am I even getting these thoughts now? I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want this to happen. It feels I'm betraying everyone especially myself
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