It feels like I can literally act on my thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if I'm holding back or if I don't want to.. Sometimes I'll be like these thoughts are ridiculous I don't even wanna act on then then I start to feel numb :/ it feels so real now I don't know why I was doing so good

I was sleeping after a very long stressful week at work and life but lately i was worried about myself cause I don't feel bad anymore just numb, I thought I was living and it's fine but I woke up now with jumble of different bad intrusive thoughts that it makes me feel like I'm crazy person it always happen when I'm stressed I guess but I feel like my mind is going crazy and I try to stop my mind from thoughts it's thinking about different things in one minute like idk what's going on Idk how to manage

I see people post about how they feel like their thoughts are real. For me personally I deal with sexual intrusive thoughts and they feel real to me because it feels like I enjoy them. And when I say “it feels like I like them” that’s the same for me as saying “I like them” but some people say that’s different. Idk just curious as to what you guys feel!

There are moments when something takes over me, like I have to fight myself (literally restrain myself) from acting on my thoughts, like causing harm to my parents or brother. I get these feelings that feel so real, like they are genuinely my own. There are moments when I feel like I like them, and it makes me question whether this is truly OCD or if it's me. Then I wonder whether this is me lying to myself, because I feel the urge to smile at the thought, or feel like I have some pleasure. I check whether I like them, and then I feel like I do, so I stop immediately. I feel like my old self is gone, and I've become this person, and that it was never OCD. Right now, as I type this, I feel like I'm lying to myself. There are moments when I feel like my brain splits, as if this is my new personality. Or there are moments when I feel like it might feel liberating or freeing if I do it. I genuinely feel like this is not OCD. There are moments when I stop the thought, and I feel like it's out of principle, as if I don't truly want to stop at that thought. I truly can't picture this to be my life now. I never had these thoughts in my life until two and a half months ago. It truly makes me question whether it was OCD. I don't get why. I used to view my family as my world, and now my mind is making me scared and feel like my room is my only safe place from them, from me.