why am i unable to cry suddenly?! like i get teary eyed but i can’t cry

these days I feel particularly bad. I can't let the thoughts and those scenes be there without going deeper into it. Everything about my sister has become a trigger for me, and I have the impression that she "turns me on" and creates a big panic. I feel like I can't breathe because I don't know how to let it all go and I don't attach importance... 5 months of ERP and now this, I can't do it, I don't know it...and I don't know what else to do...

And what is happening...let's say I come across a video of that person and then I stop the part where it triggers me and I deliberately imagine images of a sexual type, and if I don't feel anything, I look again, as if I want it or I have the urge to imagine it, i.e. I feel the need, and if I feel something or get a feeling in my groin and I feel like I fall into despair?

I’m constantly finding myself getting irritated easily and sometimes it even confuses me because I was happy and fine two seconds ago. Like I feel emotionally unstable. I also randomly will get sentimental or sad and I just start crying. Is this just me??