I think I am bi or gay who is in denial and just taking an excuse of HOCD. Can someone have HOCD and at last be gay. I am scared, I don't know why but I don't want to be gay

I’ve been struggling with HOCD in a real way for several years now. So, I have an idea of what you are going through. All I can say is that you are not your thoughts, you are only what you choose to do. So, always choose the good over the bad. As far as being concerned about your sexual orientation, I think that if you were gay you’d know it for sure. The fact that you are even saying that you don’t want to be gay means you’re not. I hope that makes sense to you. I wish you all the best.