Does anyone ruminate over rude comments people may have said about you to see if they have any truth to them, even if they happened very long ago? This sucks!

Do yall ever reread old texts from a toxic ex and try and “solve” stuff constantly? We ended things 4 months ago and every day I go through old texts trying to prove I wasn’t the bad one, make SURE she was toxic, “solve” a random toxic moment I remember and make sure I have ALL the details remembered accurately and that I’m not misremembering it. It’s like im still living in the relationship. It’s draining and will not stop. Is this an OCD thing? How is it fixed?

With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.

Hey, was hoping someone could resonate with what I’m thinking / feeling. Apologies as it will probably be a long one! Has anyone else had a constant rumination over “consent” me and my partner had a situation two years ago, we were went on a night out, were both pretty drunk (me more than him, but both had quite a bit to drink) had a big argument- we got home and went to bed, in the night, I was half awake, heard him saying my name, I didn’t respond so he rolled over, later on mabye like 10 mins, he said my name again- from his memory, I responded and we were “intimate” how we usually would be, and he said I seemed how I usually would, responded like I typically would and was involved and participating, I woke up the next day, could remember little bits of things, but very very minimal stuff- we talked about it and he was really gutted and listened to the fact I was worried that I couldn’t remember everything, he was so upset- (I don’t think it’s totally unusual for me not to remember intercourse, especially after a few drinks) he totally understood and tbh has dealt with my boundaries perfectly since. At the time I went through a really really bad stage of extreme anxiety and rumination over it (iv also got a bit of trauma with this topic from previous relationships) And it was taking over my life, I posted in a girls group I was in what the situation was, most of the people said that mabye it’s just a bit of boundary setting but it dosent seem like anything was intentional and he seems like a good person who cares about me (which he is) - there was one girl, who replied, and the reply was that I should go to the police, and it was r*p* and that it was taken advantage and all this really strong stuff, obviously being the way I am, my brain has absolutely clung to that comment, and two years down the line, i still cannot shake it off- I know who he is; and I know he’s respectful and is an all round good partner, but the what ifs, doubting, and that comment are still taking over my life to this day. I just don’t know what to think and how to feel anymore 😞 If you managed to read it all, I appreciate it! I know it’s not short so thank you 😊